Skip to main content

Posts

Schlapp

Recent posts

I think I have a good eye

Yesterday I went to the thrift store with my church friend Janet and she ended up finding some nice summer Bermudas and two T shirts. She trusts my eye and sure enough she looked great in what she purchased.

While she was trying things on I couldn't myself and assisted a twentysomething young woman buying heels for a wedding. She really appreciated my help and at one point I found her some Michael Kors for $10 but then they were the wrong size. I wished her well once Janet was done and we went on our way.

The entire purchase came out to $17.

keeping up with the Joneses

My politics is based on one fundamental criteria: social justice. Is the application of the governance, law or policy steeped in it or devoid of it? This is one reason you would understand that I am not a conservative because conservatism is nothing more than keeping a status quo while leaving government out of everything.

The fundamental problem with private sector market philosophy is that its primary goal is to make a profit for investors which does not necessary coincide with the right thing to do. Hence if the drug coverage of a patient with black lung is too expensive, the insurance company actuarial model says the solution is to let the patient die.

Corporations do not function morally, they function so they can have positive financial statements which is understandable. The problem comes when the appetite of the investor is never satiated which is almost always the case. Hence properly applied level of government combined with private sector operation is the key to a successfu…

no reason to change things

I’ve known Leticia for about 8 years now. We met at a clothing store where she was working, ended up having coffee and it went from there. She is one of the women I know who doesn’t know I am trans.

We ate brunch together this past Sunday and it was nice to see her. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor and she was given 3 years to live. Four years later she is still alive and well and is a living testament to doctors not always getting the diagnosis right.

I am not going to divulge anything to her at this point because there is no need to. Our relationship would be best described as socially cordial but not overly close and, in my opinion, we don’t see each enough to warrant disclosure. Every time I have thought about telling her I discount it. There are people we get very close to and others remain somewhat at arm’s length and she is in the latter category. Although when we do see each other it is always pleasant, and we tell each other we will see each other again soon.

Leticia was …

a distant memory

My father knew he only had a few months left to live. The announcement at the oncologist’s office a few months earlier had been for me like a direct punch to the stomach and I can only imagine how he must have felt. I went back to work that afternoon in shock and recall my father's usual stoicism as the doctor calmly explained things to him. It might have seemed like he quickly resigned himself to his reality but leaving his family behind must have been heart wrenching.

Some months later I was driving my parents north of Montreal in the beauty of the Laurentian autumn foliage and Mozart’s C Minor Mass was playing on my car’s cassette player. My father was looking out onto the vista with a look of wonderment as if he had never seen such beauty before.

I will never forget the look on his face.

milestone

This little blog has just passed 700,000 page views, reached its highest ever daily views and is just a few days over 7 years old. In my mind, at the time I began it, it was supposed to only last a few weeks.

If in July of 2012 you had told me that I would be writing it for this long I wouldn't have believed you but then life has a way of working in strange and unpredictable ways.

So much has changed over that time that I can scarcely believe it. I credit this little vehicle with helping me to do much heavy lifting in dealing with the trauma stemming from the denial that I had been trans my whole life. There's been so much change in me that I no longer entirely recognize the person who began writing it.

Let's see what the next 7 brings and thank you to all who read my thoughts.



the politics of passing

There is no question that blending in makes things a lot easier. Once I became entrenched in my own self-acceptance I was able to use the physical advantages to disappear as much as I could into the cisworld; if not perfectly than at least well enough to have most people ignore me. If I were shorter it would be even easier although lately I saw a very attractive young woman who must have been 6’3” and no one questioned her gender because she was the living picture of womanhood.

Passing privilege must affect mindset. A Janet Mock doesn’t think the same as a Miranda Yardley because they are a different species. One is an attractive woman who could easily pass for cis while the other does not blend in at all. Perhaps because of this reality, Yardley does not think that transwomen should be called women.

Perspective is everything.

My friend Sherry transitioned young and thinks of herself as just another woman. She has dropped the trans prefix which works fine for her as you would never th…