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Being trans is a lifelong journey with even those of us who transition young, often dealing with doubts about passing well enough or perhaps having a partner who doesn't know discover the truth. There is no perfect scenario because life itself isn't perfect.

I have decided that in my own life it is more important to be myself and to be open to being an advocate for other trans people. Hence, going forward I will avoid false narratives about my history. Those who currently don't know I am trans among my close acquaintances eventually will.

If we don't come out of hiding there are less chances our voices will be heard and I want to be one of those who is counted. I don't think this is something everyone should do because there are those of you so deep in stealth for so long that coming out could risk ruining existing lives you have built. You are in the reverse scenario to those still deep in the closet who have not yet addressed their true identities.

This is a high…
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To a great extent gender is about performance; at least the externalized parts of it.

Those of us who were brought up male but in some form felt female knew what we had to do to survive and we made certain not to leave any traces of ambiguity. I was so good in fact, that when I came out no one had suspected anything.

Performance is about meeting expectation and fitting in. It is about being in a group of people of your birth sex and saying the right things and behaving in such a way that you are welcomed among them. Unfortunately it is not about the internal reality and putting your true face forward.

Everyone in society is to some degree an actor and we hone those skills through an adolescence which will allow us to move forward in a prefabricated and disingenuous world.

It is when we let down that guard that everything falls into place. We may not be able to do it in every instance, but it feels so good when we are able to.

Some of you have been able to fully get there and, for that…

cultural dysphoria

Texan Love Song

As relevant today as it was then...