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Day one


This is day one of putting my thoughts into a blog....I am going to be 50 years old this year and have just broken up with my significant other after 3 years together.

Life will get better again. I know that from experience but I hate feel stuck in the middle like this. I am a man but I am not normal. I am a man who dresses up as a woman and I feel its advancing. Some days I wish it would just go away and let me be. But I know it won't.

So as I ponder the future for a bit and wallow in a bit of self pity I need to simply collect my thoughts and try and let life do what it always does....resolve itself somehow and morph.....into what? I have'nt a bloody clue. If I were gay I might have resolved this by transitioning while young but having married and had children who are into their early teens and thinking this would be controllable and cureable has not made things easier.

So i thought I would include a couple of pictures this time so I can look back on it at some point. This is where I was in 2012 and this is what I thought at the time. Self indulgent I suppose...

Joanna has been getting out even more of late and doing her thing. I suppose I wanted this or thought I did but right now my mind is cloudy and confused. Let's take this one day at a time shall we? it seems to be the only way....

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“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

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She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

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To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

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