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my anger issues..

One of the things that came up as a conclusion to my 4 months of gender therapy was my so called 'repressed anger'. There may be some validity to that as one of talking points during my recent break up was my volatile temper. I am Latin and there is a basis in nurture and nature here. My mother is highly excitable and I did witness some heated arguments between my parents over the years. Being the oldest did not help matters either as I was more micro managed than my younger siblings. Add to that a healthy dose of Mediterranean style Catholicism and you have a recipe for guilt and major issues.

This certainly helped repress my instincts towards the feminine and kept any trace I might show in this direction something to be hidden and eradicated at any cost.

Small wonder then that I was even able to shed any of these trappings and start to accept my transgendered nature.

I wonder what the introduction of hormones might bring to do to quench the temper I have. Don't get me wrong; I am not that in my opinion. I am just quick off the trigger like the opening of a fizzy drink. Once it erupts there's nothing more than a tame soft drink. I am not trying to self suggest myself into starting HRT but in another year's time I may approach my doctor about all this if I am still in my current mindset.


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"Oh please its 2016!"

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We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

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However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

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You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

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I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…