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my anger issues..

One of the things that came up as a conclusion to my 4 months of gender therapy was my so called 'repressed anger'. There may be some validity to that as one of talking points during my recent break up was my volatile temper. I am Latin and there is a basis in nurture and nature here. My mother is highly excitable and I did witness some heated arguments between my parents over the years. Being the oldest did not help matters either as I was more micro managed than my younger siblings. Add to that a healthy dose of Mediterranean style Catholicism and you have a recipe for guilt and major issues.

This certainly helped repress my instincts towards the feminine and kept any trace I might show in this direction something to be hidden and eradicated at any cost.

Small wonder then that I was even able to shed any of these trappings and start to accept my transgendered nature.

I wonder what the introduction of hormones might bring to do to quench the temper I have. Don't get me wrong; I am not that in my opinion. I am just quick off the trigger like the opening of a fizzy drink. Once it erupts there's nothing more than a tame soft drink. I am not trying to self suggest myself into starting HRT but in another year's time I may approach my doctor about all this if I am still in my current mindset.


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another coming out

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“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…