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rock and a hard place

From the point of view of a trans person who is drawn to women we're kind of stuck. The more we're attracted to our feminine sides the less likely we are to find an accepting partner. In my recent previous relationship, Joanna was there in the background but was something to be dealt with and tolerated but not celebrated. I suppose that makes sense because what woman is going to deliberately desire her man to be more woman than man.

Therefore I am getting myself into the mindset that I will likely stay on my own. I don't want to put Joanna back in the closet and don't want to compromise the freedom that I have given her. In all likelihood, pairing up with another person would mean putting her back into a closet. Yes it will be lonely at times but in life there are always compromises to be made. And the idea of being with someone just for the company does not appeal to me.

After an unsuccessful marriage and my recent 3 year relationship, it might be time to try and live alone and get used to it. At least I will get to see what my part time life as a woman will ask of me. How much room this other side will take will not be hindered by somone who does not welcome this strong aspect of myself.

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