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Talking to my kids

My children know I'm transgendered. All of this came out in part during the divorce process with their mother and in part during my relationship with my girlfriend who offered information a little faster than I might have wanted. They have never seen me dressed and have no desire to as per a conversation I had with them yesterday.

I wanted to broach the subject of being trans in order to get an idea of how they were feeling about the subject now that some time had passed since they found out. As it turns out they don't think about it very much. My daughter who is older has less of an issue than my son but both would have a lot of difficulty with the idea of their dad being a woman. I did not offer this up as something that would happen but in the flow of the conversation, they both expressed their discomfort around this presently remote possibility.

I myself don't know where I am going yet. The only thing I know is that I will continue the process of self discovery and experiment with living part time as much as possible in order to see how it all "fits". But I do consider that if it should come to a point where I feel I must transition that my children - who have already had to go through a divorce - will be further struck with a major blow.

But as long as I can live the way I am living now there should be no reason for concern I suppose. So they are OK with the concept its just that they don't want to experience it first hand and I won't be in a hurry to shove this in their faces either.


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another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…