Skip to main content

the road to womanhood

It's been such a slow and steady progression towards attaining some kind of equilibrium that I have almost not felt the change except of course when I look back. Yesterday I was out and about and stopped at a cell phone booth at the mall to enquire about getting a cell for my son (he is starting high school in the fall).

There were a young man and young lady there. They both looked at me as I approached and she jumped into action (perhaps because she thought this middle aged woman would be more comfortable dealing with her). We talked about the types of phones and plans available and I casually mentioned that my daughter helped teach me to text on my cell. She then said "I taught my mom too". And then it really struck home with me how much I had moved from out and about crossdresser to increasingly a woman doing her everyday activities.

It's a subtle change as nothing physical has changed but I was in a mental zone at the time where I was not aware of how I was dressed or how I appeared to her as we were dealing with the business at hand. That's why that moment was so sweet and was received so unexpectedly. I was not really trying but I was a woman and perhaps always have been.

But this woman comes with decades of male training on how ti walk and talk and posture in this society. Joanna if she is to move forward will have to unlearn some of those things as she moves foresee in her life. I say 'some' because in the end we are all a blend of male and female and I would not want to eradicate some of the more positive male aspects I have acquired over my ,5 decades of life.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…