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facsimile of a woman....

By now I know I could get used to living as a woman. You could say it's a role I've been rehearsing for my whole life; at least at a surface level. Practicing to walk in heels, wearing makeup, trying to move gracefully. But here's the thing; I don't need to do anything about it. I can just perfect the role. I mean I'll never really BE a woman. Best case would be a reasonable facsimile. I know a lot of transsexual women would vehemently disagree with that statement, but for me it really applies. I share the view that Kate Bornstein has adopted, in that she feels neither male nor entirely female. She is her own gender construct.

I consider myself a hybrid of sorts. It doesn't matter which sexual organs I have and if I transition and then stay a lesbian I won't be able to make love the same way anymore. For the true transsexual the need to complete the process is an essential element in becoming a complete woman. Especially if you intend to be heterosexual in your adopted gender role.

I intend to perfect my impersonation of the feminine. This is something that needs to be expressed (whether I like it or not apparently) and I seem to be hard wired for it.I will continue to do it until such time as it no longer suits me and I need to adapt to my new reality at the time.

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