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gender as a construct

If we separate gender identity from sexual orientation (as I think we must) we begin to see that gender identification and behavior is greatly immersed in social convention. I mean yes there are differences between the male and female brains which leads to some cognitive variations but as recent studies have shown the trans brain has some commonalities with both genders. We have also observed how much gender stereotypes break down in real life just by observing social behavior and how some people are more the other gender in many ways and yet are not self labeled as trans.

So we are left with mostly socialization as being the key determining factor in making us conform to our birth gender. We copy others and society expects us to fit in and not make waves. People like Kate Bornstein have even had to disassociate themselves from identifying as women due to pressure from society and has opted to call herself neither. She is a gender outlaw.

So many of us rebel against society but often later in life when wisdom, experience and just not giving a damn anymore propel us to be ourselves finally.

I have painted myself into a corner even now by thinking that finding a life partner and being my own version of gender are at cross purposes. Best thing is to just be me and let life take care of what needs to happen next. Life meaning my creator here as I know that God exists even if I have abandoned much of organized religion due to basic human stupidity.

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