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Kate Bornstein

I looked up Kate Bornstein's book "gender outlaw" while at the library yesterday. She's had quite the life and she doesn't shy away from speaking her mind. I am impressed with her cut to the chase style and quick wit. Afterwards I got online and viewed some of her videos. In particular, there was a plea for teens who might be suicidal with her essential message being that it does get better. She says you can do what it takes to make your life better as long as you're not mean. You can tell she's lived and seen a lot. Very much her own person.

She's also become an outspoken spokesperson for transgender rights and seems to be solicited often to speak on our behalf. I for one am glad she's there. Most of us need to do a lot of living to get to where she is and I wish we were all as self effacing and straightforward as Kate is. Bully for her!

On another note my friend J came over for dinner. We've known each other for 26 years, so the confidence level is there. I ended up showing him a picture of Joanna. I think he was impressed as to how well I passed as a woman. A few years back I never would have contemplated telling any of my friends, but so far the sky has not fallen and the earth still revolves, so I guess I need'nt have stressed about it. Who knows, maybe at some point he'll end up meeting the female me....


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"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…