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my friend C....

I've finally decided not to follow up with Ana. Firstly, I left several messages and my call was not returned and secondly I realized that it might not be that useful in the end.

I met my friend C yesterday for a brief coffee in drab and I almost broke down in front of her. I guess I needed to talk to someone in person about what was going on in my life, and meeting her was a watershed moment. It actually surprised me how easily I almost reduced myself to tears. So that made me think that I needed some more time to heal up than I had previously thought and get my life back together. I told her I was giving myself another 3 months.

C has been Joanna's biggest cheerleader from the get go. She approached me 5 years ago while I was in a department store dressed browsing for jewelery. She was working the cosmetics counter and came over to offer her assistance and some words of encouragement. I received free samples and advice on skin care but more than that she was the first person who really saw past the makeup of a crossdresser and wanted to find the real person behind it. From that day forward we remained in contact and I have used her as a confidante where I could not find the level of confidence with other friends or family. That is why for me she retains a special place.

I admit that we discuss my life more than hers since by comparison mine seems infinitely more complex. She is happily married to a successful engineer and has a 10 year old son. They are doing well but she continues to find pleasure in dealing with the public behind her cosmetics counter. Everyone who knows her will attest to her outgoing and bubbly personality and she exudes an energy that could light up a room. A smile and a laugh never far behind each statement she makes. I by comparison have always tended to be reserved and shy, so the draw of her energy by contrast was appealing to me

I'm glad there are people like her in the world.

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