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now what?

Well my appointment with Ana is postponed till next week. She's out of town for work. My understanding is that Ana is a transitioned woman so she's ahead of me (if there's any such thing). I'm having trouble focusing on a way forward but as I've said before I will wait for a while before committing to anything. Living part time as I am now will allow me to test the waters and see how being a woman might feel in the future.

So there's only 2 doors now:
1) transition and get rid of disphoria
2) stay as is and learn to cope with it

The problem with number 2 is that it's very hard to balance living in 2 genders and I have read accounts where people transition in the end because it's untenable as an ultimate solution.

I'll keep praying about it and try to let things surface on their own. But I must say for the first time in my life I can actually contemplate living as a woman full time and it's not as scary and taboo as it used to be. My kids would be my biggest reason not to do it (besides others)

I really like jack molay's latest post on crossdreamers where he describes his own struggles with his gender disphoria. Very worthwhile reading.


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