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the gift of melancholy

As we get older and we amass life experience we are able to view all of those things that have happened to us through more reflective and experienced lenses. We understand that life comes with challenges and having survived a number of experiences, we understand that there is another day coming when the pain will eventually subside.

I am reflecting on this because I am aware that I am enduring a period of melancholy. It is not really depression because I am feeling ok for the most part but it is a " taking stock of life melancholic mood".

Thomas Moore, in his book "care of the soul" says that "depression grants the gift of experience not as a literal fact but as an attitude towards yourself. You get a sense of having lived through something, of being older and wiser". Very true words because when understood in the context of life experience, a depressive or melancholic state can bring insight and allow feelings that only emerge in dark moods to surface. I think it can be a healing experience and allow us to grow. Almost as if a butterfly waiting to emerge from it's cocoon.

This reflective period will be good for me and being on my own with no other distractions, I will be able to build a new model for myself for the kind of life I want to lead from here on in. It's not that I care about chronological age but somehow this latest life change coinciding with my 50th year on this planet represents a benchmark for me.

I am shaking off the past and the things that weighed me down and will emerge from my stasus a new being. Hopefully a more enlightened one...


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