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of crossdreamers and crossdressers

We are cousins; we belong under the same transgender umbrella. Although if my understanding is correct most crossdressers crossdream while few people labelling themselves crossdreamers seem to crossdress. The common thread being that our masturbation centers around self visualization as women.

I cannot imagine myself not crossdressing because it is my outlet for the internal feelings I have. Without it I would be truly frustrated and lost. So I can scarcely imagine how crossdreamers who don't dress up manage their feelings of attachment to the feminine. This is not meant as a critical statement but just an observation. The mind searches to connect to something that it aspires to even if that desire is unattainable and fleeting.

For me this has been the clothing, the shoes and the makeup. This has been my escape valve and giving it up at this point (much as I might want) appears to be wishful thinking. I have found it more therapeutic to accept and practice it in order to make life manageable and more liveable. That the psychiatric community sees it as paraphilic does not change it's validity for me since it is a lifeline to MY normalcy.

The crossdreamer who does not dress must then only rely on masturbation and visualization techniques (I am presuming). In both our cases neither solution is entirely satisfactory since we are both trapped in between genders. It's whatever works for each of us to stay sane and functional and I am not surprised that some attempt transition just to quiet the constant pull towards the opposite gender. One just succumbs to the finger tapping on our shoulder that rarely stops needling us.

Giving myself guilt free permission to crossdress has been a godsend in my attempts to keep my life in balance. The degree to which it is all consuming is where my self control techniques come in and that is something I'm still perfecting.


  1. "guilt free permission to cross dress"...
    Could this be the Holy Grail of self-contentment and personal acceptance?

    It seems to me that the larger TG community might be well served to observe that simple fact. I see it as much more conducive to personal and social tranquility than all the political posturing of the LGBT and their tg stepsisters.

  2. AQV I think that that's what will need to suffice for me. I can't speak for the greater community but I am bothered by what I see at sites like pinkessence for example. It's the herd mentality and they don't seem to want to hear dissenting voices. I have tried to post there thinking I might get intelligent discourse going but has been less than successful...

  3. Sadly that is the problem. Anyone proposing an alternative POV is instantly branded, and demagogued as a hater, bigot, transphobic or any number disparaging or dismissive labels.

    It is very difficult if not impossible to engage in any meaningful dialogue under such circumstances.

  4. The common thread between the cross-dressing dreamers and doers is the brain's release of neurotransmitterstheir (not masturbation). If the common thread was masturbation as you claim, then in all those instances where we do not masturbate, then we no common thread.

    Technically you really don't love to wear feminine clothing. You love the sensations from the neurotransmitters, the sense of well-being, pleasure, gratification and bonding. You are just using cross-dressing as the tool to get your brain to release your (dopamine, serotonin, oxytoncin, etc) neurotransmitters. The common denominator is the release of neurotransmitters.


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