And this indeed could be the end of the discussion for me except that something still feels wrong. I'm too advanced where I am now and yet falling short of being a woman. I am indeed in no man's land. This is leading to dissatisfaction in the sense that 'playing house' is not a workable solution. It's playing pretend every night and in the long run will likely drive me insane.
And yet I am not going to go for transition mostly because I'm scared. I have read chapters 2 and 3 of the book she referred me to and I did find one thing that irked me: it's intransigent tone. Mind the barricades because I'm storming through because I am a woman and nothing will stop me from achieving my goal. Nothing? What about kids, job, family for starters. I also am not sure about the assertion that women are born and not made. That in itself argues that nature has made a complete mistake and put a woman's brain in a male body. But there is no proof or at least insufficient proof that this is true. Science has only begun to scratch the surface on this one but the writer speaks it as if it were Gospel. It is the truth as she sees it and that is all.
Nevertheless someone's own opinions do not solve my situation and until such time as I can no longer balance my ying and yang gender act, I will tow the same line even if not entirely happy with it.