Skip to main content

the way forward....

Today I meet the gender therapist and, depending on how the discussion proceeds, I may embark on a 2 year journey to find gender congruence. There is a cost for this because while Quebec pays for surgery, the treatments preceeding SRS are not covered by the health system.

However, my aim is to come to a point where the disphoria is more manageable. That could imply living full time with limited hormone usage and no need not proceed any further. I am hoping this is a worst case scenario so that I can continue to play a male role in the life of my son who incidentally is having strabismus surgery this coming Friday to correct a slight misalignment of his eyes.
He is my primary concern in my gender struggles. He is sensitive and has already displayed discomfort at the idea of my crossdressing. I had not intended to divulge anything at this stage in his life, but my well meaning ex-gf urged me into candor in front of both my children. In some ways I dont regret their exposure to this issue but I also now know their comfort level: dad dresses but we dont want to see it. This is highly acceptable to me in fact. However in discussing trans issues one day upon seeing a program on television, they let me know that they would be extremely perturbed were I ever to consider SRS.

So I am left with a delicate balance to follow. And should there be medication required, my understanding of hormones is that besides limited breast development, softening of the skin and some body hair reduction, there are not drastic changes in the physical sense especially if a small dosage is administered. So while this is a scenario I do not favor, I am preparing for that possibility to arise but only if it helps still my disphoria.

Conversely there is the status quo of living part time in female mode and adapting to that. This is my preferred option but it requires tweaking. The therapy will maybe serve a purpose in this scenario as well.

Work is also an important consideration and thus I have decided to have a preliminary confidential discussion with the head of HR to guage their reaction. I am limiting this discussion to the head of the department who is someone I have known for 10
years and trust.

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anne at this point I would love to get rid of it all. I told the therapist that today....I know it won't at this point though

    ReplyDelete
  3. But I do have a choice however stopping the dressing does not seem to be among them. Any ideas?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…