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Sunday outing

Well my son’s surgery went well on Friday and I am so pleased! He had a condition known as strabismus which is the medical term for crossed eyes (actually only one of them was misaligned). So now he will be away from school for a few days while he recuperates from a procedure which took only 45 minutes and was performed by a top notch surgeon. It was all covered by the Canadian health system which Canadians so love to complain about but is in fact quite good overall. This is something I can attest to personally given the treatment I received when I had my stroke.

I spent my Sunday off yesterday doing some Christmas shopping and I ended up, quite by happenstance, meeting a nice lady called Leila while I was having a coffee. She is an immigrant from Lebanon who’s been in Canada for 21 years. We had a nice discussion and she ended up giving me her card as she and her husband run a business from their home selling a special type of imported cooking oil. She told me we should meet again and I agreed that we should. She seems like a very nice person.

This type of scenario is happening to me more often as my comfort level with my identity as a female increases. I am still the same person but I am in the process of joining the two halves of my personality into one unit. The only difference is the way I am dressed and the way I gesture as Joanna.

I still feel uncomfortable with the idea however of telling people I am trans and since I can pass as a female it becomes easier to lie. Certainly someone like Leila, who I would guess to be about 70, would not be as receptive to a trans person than someone in their 20’s. So I am conscious of my audience but I know that I need to eventually be more truthful in the future when I meet new people in order to have a more cohesive life.

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If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…