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Sunday outing

Well my son’s surgery went well on Friday and I am so pleased! He had a condition known as strabismus which is the medical term for crossed eyes (actually only one of them was misaligned). So now he will be away from school for a few days while he recuperates from a procedure which took only 45 minutes and was performed by a top notch surgeon. It was all covered by the Canadian health system which Canadians so love to complain about but is in fact quite good overall. This is something I can attest to personally given the treatment I received when I had my stroke.

I spent my Sunday off yesterday doing some Christmas shopping and I ended up, quite by happenstance, meeting a nice lady called Leila while I was having a coffee. She is an immigrant from Lebanon who’s been in Canada for 21 years. We had a nice discussion and she ended up giving me her card as she and her husband run a business from their home selling a special type of imported cooking oil. She told me we should meet again and I agreed that we should. She seems like a very nice person.

This type of scenario is happening to me more often as my comfort level with my identity as a female increases. I am still the same person but I am in the process of joining the two halves of my personality into one unit. The only difference is the way I am dressed and the way I gesture as Joanna.

I still feel uncomfortable with the idea however of telling people I am trans and since I can pass as a female it becomes easier to lie. Certainly someone like Leila, who I would guess to be about 70, would not be as receptive to a trans person than someone in their 20’s. So I am conscious of my audience but I know that I need to eventually be more truthful in the future when I meet new people in order to have a more cohesive life.


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another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…