But I need not see that as being stuck. I am choosing to see it that way perhaps because of the faintest hope in rekindling a connection with someone in the future. If I were not attracted to females it would not be an issue whatsoever but, even though I need to be true to myself, I am still not ready to spend the rest of my life alone because of the way I am. Unfortunately being trans is often a prescription for membership in the “lonely hearts club band”. I just need to figure out how I can get rid of my hopes in that department. Why is my mind geared in such a fashion that I cannot accept to be alone for good?
Until I solve that riddle, I will not be truly comfortable with the way I am living my life. But I suspect it will come naturally with time.