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telling our SOs and misc....

This morning at work I ran into a work colleague I had not seen for a while as I am employed at a firm that has over 700 people at this particular location. He had gone through a health scare and like me is also divorced. In fact he still has a brain tumour in his head that he is coping with. He is in his late forties.

We are not close friends but every time I encounter him, I am struck by his positive attitude and his smile. It is like his close shave with death has empowered him to live his life truly one day and even one minute at a time. For indeed we never know when our time is up.

We also spoke of our similarity in having teenage kids and of being on our own. It was nice to be able to compare notes and realize that we had similar experience in not being able to find understanding partners when they themselves had never had their own children. Of course he does not know the added complexity that I am transgender but that’s another layer entirely.

It was so nice to have started my day by overlapping with him.

I also visited a website last night called “A Woman Called Sophie”.

I always find blogs like this one very interesting and often inspiring as they often parallel my own experience as someone who was married and struggling with keeping a secret about my nature of who I was. I was particularly drawn to a May 2012 entry regarding her coming out to her wife of nineteen years. She writes of the night she tells her wife:

“She asked questions and I answered them. I did my best not to overwhelm her with details. She didn't ask for pics and I didn't volunteer them. I told her that I didn't know where in the gray area of gender that I belonged and that I still needed to find that out. I told her that no one knew but my therapist, my Sisters, and one other person, and that I needed to keep my feminine side secret to keep my jobs”

I do often find it interesting to what extent some TGs know they are going to be rejected but then when things turn out slightly better than expected they hope to go further down the transition path. FFS, hormones, ear piercing, etc. In this case Sophie is now on HRT and the marriage appears on its way to ending. Of that I am not surprised. Nor should any TG be surprised when we marry someone under false pretences. It’s almost always in earnest that we marry hoping to fix ourselves to fit in but it almost always ends the same way. I have only read a few exceptional blogs where the woman is at best tolerant or on occasion actually fully supportive (often when she herself leans towards bisexuality).

Ah what a tangled web we weave.


  1. Hi!
    Thanks for reading my blog.
    It IS a funny thing about the whole "keeping on the path." The part that's hardest to understand is "why keep going further?"
    And the answer is simply because I don't really have a choice.
    The biggest irony of it all is that since telling her in May, my wife and I are closer than we've been in years.

  2. I am very happy for you. That's wonderful!


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