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Controlling your thought process

I was telling my children yesterday about how important it is to control your thought process. Thinking positively and feeling good about your abilities goes a long way towards establishing your self confidence as a human being.

I was saying all this in the context of trying to deal with my son’s recent battle with anxiety.

I am trying to help him along without appearing preachy or condescending. After all, I lived with a fair bit of anxiety for most of my life. Having gender disphoria and not feeling like you could discuss it with anyone was quite the handful for me. I also tend towards a natural level of innate tension which hums along within me at all times. I am just accustomed to it by now.

Having my son know about my crossdressing has helped me to explain my life experience in a very up close and personal way. He now better understands how his father dealt with a heavy personal issue and was able to come to grips with it over a long period of time. His own anxiety, which is partially fed from his burgeoning foray into puberty plus feeling isolated in a new high school, will hopefully not take decades to resolve. So there is some positive in him having been told sooner than I wanted about my struggles with my gender identity.

Both my children have also been made aware of the importance of understanding that people are born with many conditions. Whether you are gay, transgendered, handicapped, etc there is grace and validity in the full spectrum of the human condition. This is another great plus for me in having them know about me.

God has given me some wonderful gifts but I have also been given some challenges. I can turn those challenges around in a sense to now help other people. For now this is my children and some others that I have shared my thoughts with on websites or through this blog. If that sounds presumptuous I don’t mean it to. I really want to share with others some of the insight I have gained over the last 50 years that I have been on this earth.

Dealing with my GID in a positive way has been like removing a splinter from my foot. You get used to having that splinter buried in your skin and living daily with the pain. It’s only after you remove and it and you realize what life can truly be like.

It really is a remarkable difference even as I am aware there is still more work to do.


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If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

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