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life as a woman

Living as a woman has been an incredible eye opener for me. It has permitted me to move into a new area of gender balance, given me insight on how women are perceived in society and allowed me to see how they relate to each other socially.

It all happened so slowly and fluidly that it snuck up on me.

I have been slowly but surely increasing my exposure as joanna while gaining more and more contacts and acquaintances. Accompanying all this has been a new level of comfort, security and confidence; far beyond anything I could have imagined.

As I am writing this I am waiting for my car to be serviced. At my dealer I am also known as a woman and although the car is registered under my male name I simply pretend to be my own wife when I bring the car in. These are the methods I am using to retain my female identity in the world without compromising my job situation or scandalizing the life of my children. It's allowing me to keep my sanity intact.

Life balance, life balance, life balance.

My son is currently suffering from anxiety. It's so dramatic that he feels nauseous and can't even attend his morning classes. First year of high school for some kids can be stressful. My daughter who's two years older, did not suffer the same fate. My children are both different.

I can only imagine the additional level of anxiety he would be experiencing were his father to be in the middle of a transition. I know I am doing the right thing in keeping the status quo.

Could I live comfortably and happily as a woman 24/7? I think so yes

Do I need to live 24/7 in order to be happy? No I don't think so.

Is it sometimes challenging to keep this balance going? Yes it is

Would I go back to living to a life that repressed my female side? Definitely no

So this is where I sit as spring of 2013 approaches.

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love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…