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man, woman or both...

I think that in the end all I am looking for is for congruency between my mind and my body. This need not lead to surgical intervention or hormones but I am hopeful that it can be achieved through an adjustment of lifestyle.

I believe that I am currently on the right track towards achieving my appropriate level of congruency.

None of us is truly one gender but instead a combination of both. The caveat with the transgender is that there is a sharp contrast between our perceived gender and our biological reality. For many this necessitates GRS in order to correct this perceived error of nature.

But what about the rest of us who are not entirely comfortable with the idea of surgery or hormones and are not certain that such a drastic change is the way to fulfillment or happiness?

I think the answer lies partly in our willingness to buck the trend and live in between genders. This is no easy task in a world that demands that we conform to the standards of one or the other. That expectation, once ignored, can bring discomfort, disdain and rejection from others. Small wonders that gender non conforming people opt for transition to the other gender instead of existing in a netherworld.

But what is wrong with gender non-conformance?

If one removes the pressures brought on by social dictates one realizes that it can work. You need to accept however the idea of rejection from people who don’t understand you and partners who don’t want you because you represent neither man nor woman entirely.

But that idea of a third gender is gaining ground with me. It’s essentially how I feel.

When I present as a man I don’t mind doing so and when I present as Joanna I am also happy to do so. They both bring me happiness and while I might admit my life would be easier in one role or the other, there is almost a poetic elegance in trying to embody some of each.

At least this is what I try and tell myself when I weigh the pros and cons of complete transition to womanhood.

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