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the well meaning but obtuse...

My sister C is a lovely person. She is full of love for God and family and is very well meaning. I love her dearly.

We were close when we were younger because we are back to back in the family pecking order and we were able to share a lot of our feelings and ideas when we were younger.

This is not so much the case today as we have drifted apart due to physical distance (she lives 3000 km away) but also with the varying experience of life and where our respective journeys have taken us.

She has been (in her own way) trying to help me deal with my GID in the only way she knows how; namely through the forwarding of information she finds on the net and through her prayers for me. Occasionally, the link she sends points to a very valid website (such as Cris Pagani’s) but often she points me to some religious crackpot who has made up their own reality and neither understands firsthand the condition nor cares to. They simply spew their own drivel to anyone who cares to listen; hopefully not some young confused disphoric who tries to hold their breath. I can tell them now that it wont work.

Like many well meaning and dogmatic religious people, she is not able to fully comprehend the complexity of this issue and she struggles to understand how I cannot have a greater control over my behaviour. She goes after the crossdressing not understanding that it is my only lifeline in suppressing my desire to transition. Without it I would already be going literally insane by this point.

It is not about the crossdressing but about the GID and she misses the boat completely.

If one accepts the fact that GID is a condition one is born with, and after decades of reading and personal reflection I certainly do, then one is only left with how to grapple with its effects. It typically worsens with increasing age so the disphoric needs to find ways to prevent the condition from taking over their life completely. In its extreme form, the GID sufferer will commit suicide rather than spend another day in their incorrect gender. Of course the well meaning civilian will never comprehend this and, if they are already predisposed to believe that these conditions are a life choice, will not accept that you cannot simply stop your behaviour altogether.

Approximately one in four transgender people have attempted or commit suicide. This is a startling, mind boggling statistic but it does not surprise me. The amount of societal, family and personal rejection one experiences can be devastating. My own lifeline has been the type of upbringing that my parents gave which gave me some tools to grapple with the effects of this condition.

Make no mistake that, although I myself have no current plans to transition, I fully support anyone who feels they must do so to save their own lives. This is a very real condition which, if it were any more advanced in me, would oblige me to begin my own physical transition in order to buy some mental peace.

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love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…