The article deals with the complexities of finding acceptance (or at least tolerance) of crossdreaming behaviour within the context of a relationship with a woman.
This is of course the dilemma of every autogynephilic who is both attracted to women and to the idea of being a woman. Where Jack and I both agree is that there is more than eroticism at the core of people like us that draws us towards the feminine. I am personally convinced that there are both nature and nurture components at play.
At the end of this article there is the usual commentary from people who only identify with the purely erotic nature of their cross gender behaviour and do not draw a personal connection to any inherent transgender feelings (whether caused by nature, nurture or combination of both).
For me it is clear that there are two groups represented here:
• Those for whom the dressing is exclusively a sexual turn on
• Those who understand that they are part of the transgender spectrum but are not advanced in their disphoria to attempt a life change in the form of transition
I have continually stated in this blog that I do not believe that there is any difference between transsexuals other than innate orientation and it is this fact that often determines whether you will transition and how early in life you will do so.
An androphilic transsexual has much more to gain by transitioning than an autogynephilic because their gender change is actually beneficial to their cause. The autogynephilic has more of a dilemma.
But regardless of whether you are a transsexual or not you can still suffer from what we currently term autogynephilia and grappling with this challenge is often a life sentence. In the end finding a partner that comprehends and is able to look past the condition and purely at the individual is a tall order at best.
For me the erotic elements which showed up during my puberty phase horrified and confused me. I desperately wanted to be normal and did not seek them out. What I desired was to express my femininity but not orgasm. This is where I make the distinction between the fetishist and the transgender. The fetishist has no investment in any feminine feelings within him and purely enjoys the erotic aspects of his dressing.
There is nothing inherently wrong with fetishistic cross dressing per se but the error in cross pollinating the two groups can lead to confusion and unnecessary arguments.
I would argue that autogynephilia as we now define the term more describes the type of person that Jack Molay and I are rather than a typical fetish transvestite. They are actually not suffering from any condition but are exhibiting a behaviour that is both pleasurable and erotic for them but devoid of any gender confusion or turmoil. In other words, there is simply no gender disphoria present.