It got me thinking about how my own life has been morphing and giving breathing space to Joanna and how I trying to make that work for me as I explore this important side of myself that was suppressed for so very long.
My recent overlaps with other women have been paying off exceedingly well and it turns out that when I thought I wasn’t passing as a female I actually was. Upon discovering this I have relaxed all the more and am now passing far better. It should be noted that I define passing here as being treated and addressed gender appropriate even if you have seeded doubt in the mind of another person. But I do remember the expressions of people once they had read me when I was younger and this is now a thing of the past.
One thing that has helped enormously is my voice. It works so well that on the phone I am always addressed as Madame and my visits to stores, restaurants and to my local garage (where I am known as a woman) have been no less than stellar experiences to date. I am even now a regular at my local drugstore cosmetic counter where I was recently given an invitation to a ladies makeup evening.
I also now count a half dozen ladies who only know me as a woman and who I meet me for coffee and discussion.
So I have a life as a part time woman to the degree that I am able given my circumstances and it has been revealing and eye opening to say the least.
Here are some of the things I have learnt or confirmed that I knew anecdotally:
• Women are nicer to each other and smile more
• There is an understanding between women and less posturing between them
• Women give you the once over more than men do to each other
• Women are more open to each other and share personal thoughts much more readily (this is much like the way I already am)
• Women tend get approached more by salespeople in stores to see how they can be assisted. For example in tech stores or in hardware stores where men are in the majority as customers
• Some men are not the least bit shy about approaching a woman and complementing her or even asking her out
I must say that the last one I am the least fond of and when it happens I have been able to handle the situation with some diplomacy. I do wear a wedding ring to hopefully avoid these occurrences as much as possible.
Interesting learning and adaptation experience to say the least.