Skip to main content

affirmation

I took the day off yesterday because it was really quiet at work and I wanted to reduce my overhead. Since I pick up my kids only on Saturday morning, I got to spend the entire day as myself.

I started off downtown at the cafe depot where the kind and lovely Mexican girls know me as Juanita. We chatted a bit and during the conversation they asked me if my kids were going to take me out for mother's day on Sunday. It reinforced my female identity but also reminded me I need to do something special for my mother.

Since there are so many of us in my family, I will try and set something up for Saturday with her and my kids.

I also took Denise's cell number because the three of us may get together for a drink during the summer. Would be my first real girls outing since all my others to date were just me and one other lady.

Later in the morning I met my friend Leticia who is a lovely person. We had a very nice time together for about an hour before her shift at Sears began. We left off with her promising to have me over to her house this summer. That will be a nice little challenge for me and I will make sure to be extra presentable as a woman.

A short trip to the cosmetics department and another pleasant converstion earned me a happy mother's day wish from the lady I know there.

Its funny how comfortable being in the role of a woman is for me these days. With the reinforcement coming from being treated and accepted as a genetic female by other women, I feel I have joined an elite club where I truly belong.

So this type of transition is the one that truly counts for me and the one that most satisfies. My own self identification has the seal of approval from the group that matters most.

I am increasingly happy with this compromise where my woman's soul can fluorish while I tend to my kids and leave their lives as unscathed as possible. After all a real mother sacrifices for her children.

A Joanna mini vacation is hopefully still in the works. I am going to reward myself for all those years of gender struggles with a few days in a hotel and pamper myself just a bit. The real vacation of course will be with my kids towards the end of summer.

Comments

  1. Joanna -

    The kind of transition you mention is the most important one for now. Physical transition is something you may end up desiring because of the emotional and self image transition. (No, I am not pushing this - I am on a similar path to yours, and my plans do not include physical transition.)

    Whatever happens, this phase is most important - you feeling comfortable as the woman you are. The physical trappings are secondary....

    M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for this Marian and I completely concur. I think this plateau will be fine for a good long while and maybe for good. Lots to explore still...thank you for your positive feedback....

      Delete
  2. Joanna,
    This may turn out to not be a temporary plateau. You may have reached an appropriate level of stasis. I am happy and comfortable as a man, husband, father, provider, etc. I also really need my girl time. There is no switch that can turn one personality component on and the other off but being able to step into woman mode from time to time feels right and makes some sort of sense to me in keeping my on an even keel.
    Pax.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  3. The difference pat is that I dress daily. I doubt you do the same. I have crossed into new territory it appears.....

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…