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Joanna coming into her own...

Had my kids yesterday and will again tomorrow as its a holiday weekend here in Canada but today was a joanna day for yours truly. I was hoping to get together with Sabrina but she was really ill and she had to opt out.

I texted it her that it was an order from her alternate mother that she stay in bed. She roared at that.

So I spent a relaxing day as a woman and had a lovely time doing it. Its so natural and peaceful and sometimes beyond words. I am living my life in a way I never dreamed I could ever do. All the elements that I worked on are converging: makeup, voice, clothing, comportment, poise and femininity.

It all feels organic and natural. With the added bonus of female friends to socialize with its becoming even more natural and a lot less lonely. I never liked outings solely on my own and always wished for company.

But I was insecure and less brave that I could be out there doing what I do now. It took me the last five years to take those last steps of presentation security to finally break that feeling of fear about being myself.

That last important step of making Joanna a known entity with her own personality and sense of herself has been instrumental. I can now focus on continuing to merge myself into a whole being; something I could never do with a hanging appendage that I was attempting to amputate.

This morning in the quietness and solemnity of the mass, I thanked God for helping me come to terms with everything and truly begin to love myself and consequently others even more.

With time, things will fall into place even more.

Comments

  1. Joanna -

    You will notice that your feminine side will develop a different, but compatible personality over time. It's simply the feminine part of yourself that was being repressed by the masculine. By giving both sides the ability to express themselves, the unified whole is more at ease. (Think of a duo one singing bass and the other singing soprano, both on the same tune, but both having equal parts to contribute to the sound as a whole....)

    M

    ReplyDelete
  2. Marian, the only thing I am doing differently is gesturing and speaking differently ie. In a more feminine manner appropriate for my presentation. So it's not really a change of persona as much as an adaptation in mannerisms...

    Jo

    ReplyDelete

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