Yes I have gender confusion but it need not go beyond where I am now. I'm getting my ya yas out now and tackling all of my pent up frustration. I'm crossdressing with reckless abandon and, maybe just maybe, arrive at an equilibrium where there is not the slightest doubt as to my status.
Do I envisage this hapenning? Yes I think I do.
I may be turning a page because one cannot live in utter constipation for decades without the cork popping out and all of the contents spilling out over God's green earth. My contents are spilled and I'm gathering them up slowly.
The thought processes have ended up as confused blog entries and desperate self questioning. But when all is said and done, I may be able to say: I figured out how to encapsulate my alternate gender expression into a container that fits its need
It need not be an unsatable monster that looks for more nourishment and in so doing has me mulling over irreversible surgery. I am happy but will be happier when the final pieces of the puzzle are inserted and I can see the final landscape image.
I am certainly closer to what I seek than I have ever been and these months alone in reflection mode have proven to be instrumental.