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Compromises to make things work...

I often feel that I could indeed make a go of it as a woman but I am also realistic and need to admit that I have lived far too long as a man for a major change to be truly viable. The biggest transition thus far has been in my thinking and I now truly see myself as a woman when I am out and about as Joanna.

I am (at least partially) a woman in my soul and that is what counts. The body parts are what they are.

That absolute comfort in being who I am has spilled well into my attitude when I am out in the world as Joanna. There is a warm comfort in being myself and that has spilled into the life of the man I work and present to my children as.

Might there be days when I regret not carrying through into a full transition? Perhaps yes but life is not about doing what we want but about doing what we need. Right now I am following what I NEED to do. I need to tend to my son and need to work at this company to make a good living.

Joanna is having her life too and while her life is not perfect, she also has what she needs.

I met a new friend at church the other day and after Mass we decided to go for coffee. She is a single woman in her 60’s and for her I am just another woman. The conversation flowed and we had a nice time.

I think this way of living will have to suffice for me. It may not be the perfect solution but nothing in life is perfect.

Comments

  1. I admire your ability to enjoy your opportunities to express yourself as Joanna while also being satisfied with the compromises you've made. Too many people (myself included) spend so much time worrying about the things that aren't perfect that they don't appreciate and enjoy what they have.

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  2. Linda thanks for this. It really is not easy however as its really day to day and sometimes I feel that I am just putting off the inevitable.....

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  3. Hi Joanna,

    What's always lead to GD for me is trying to keep the true me contained. Once I realized this and let Lindsay control my life I've felt orders of magnitude better. I just had to be myself. As Lindsay I still make a lot of the same choices, but a lot are different. Maybe the big change is that I quit caring what other people think.

    Lindsay

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  4. PS.

    I'm now a single person. I'm no longer trying to keep two opposites apart.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is very very smart on your part lindsay and I am trying to merge myself into a whole being as well!

    ReplyDelete

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