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Keeping things in perspective

Well after some back and forth emails and texts, N and I are back on for coffee this Sunday.

I have no unrealistically high expectations unlike back in January when I clearly had not yet healed from the split and not done the work that my gender issues clearly demanded.

I know I have thought a lot about our breakup over the last year and even as I thought that a person like me had no business burdening someone with my gender confusion, it was my anger that finally drove her away.

The anger was primarily coming from from unresolved issues and frustration over my divorce situation with my kids. I have now fully embraced my transgender nature and have no plans to transition.

My cross gender expression will be the tool I use to manage my disphoria.

Does this mean that N and I still stand a chance?

This remains to be seen and as I am cautiously optimistic, I understand that due to my new found internal peace I will be ok even if we are not able to reconcile.


  1. Joanna -

    Underplay your cards with N. See where she wants to take things. Do not make the first move. But you can say you're a little nervous, and ask what she's hoping for in life. Do your best to appear that you care for her, but do not want to smother or control her.

    Good Luck....


  2. Absolutely perfect advice and precisely what I intend to do. I have no expectations here but just need to exexplore if we still have something solid there...


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