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coping strategies...

I am on to coping mechanisms and strategies now and moving away from "origin" analysis. The former will be helpful while the latter will be futile and serve no purpose.

AQV quite rightly reminded me of this in an email.

I plan to attend Helene's group in order to find coping methods for my disphoria and possibly learn how others manage theirs. I already know that for some the answer will lie in transition but I have decided that this path would be unwise for me.

Even if I am already far more emotionally balanced than I was regarding this issue, I suspect there is still more work to be done than I might now estimate. If the result produces a better me, then I am all for engaging in the process.

Next thursday morning I have an appointment with a psychologist to discuss my verbal abuse. I promised N that I would do this and it can only be helpful if it gives me additional strategies to cope with emotional stress when and if it returns at the level I experienced in our darker periods.

She was very pleased to hear that.


  1. before i came out to my dad, friends and family i used to be "rather jumpy" when i was sneaking around going out as diana.
    since i have come out and have found as much acceptance which was a pleasant surprise i have found i am not as "jumpy" around my family (dad). i hated keeping this secret from dad as we have always been soooo close. i lost a year or 2 sneaking around than goodness i didn't loose any more time.
    so maybe this will help you in finding answers to the verbal situation.
    as a gg friend says being transgendered doesn't make one nicer or meaner as we are who we are deep down.
    please feel free to e mail me if you need to via g mail. i will give you my reg e mail address via g mail to be able to communicate off the public forum if you wish.

  2. ps i forgot to say how great your profile photo is. until i read your bog i really thought you had transitioned or were really a gg! your hair style is great! and the pink blouse is good for your complection.

  3. Thank you so much Diana. I really appreciate the words of encouragement.

    Yes I think there was much frustration tied to the guilt and the other family pressures which were helping to produce a less nicer me.

    Also thank you for the compliments....

  4. Do you think your problems with verbal abuse are due to your trying to suppress Joanna? And that the changes you have made in your life have eliminated it? I know that when my dysphoria is bad I can be abusive.

  5. I have no doubt at all that it is tied to it Lindsay. I had those pressures plus dealing with an ex wife who was antagonistic and N who was sometimes asking me for things that I thought I could not deliver; especially where it concerned my children.

  6. It is likely a good thing that you are seeing someone about the verbal ab use issue. It is likely good that you and N are discussing the matter.
    Does N relate to you when you are dressed a Joanna? I find that when I am dressed I am calm and at peace. It is also out of character to rant and rave or be abusive in any fashion when wearing a dress, hose and heels.

    1. actually Pat, N prefers not to see me dressed and I respect that. She has gone out with me a few times in the past but I am OK with leaving things like this...


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