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The search for the origin of my gender disphoria now effectively over, I am focusing on my management techniques.

Joanna is a known entity. I am a divorced woman in her late forties and have a network of friends and merchants who are happy to see me and talk with me in that form. It's my pleasure to oblige them as it feeds that part of my soul that I had been trying to starve.

Many of these relationships were inadvertent. I wasn't originally trying to decieve but simply blend in but in succeeding beyond my wildest dreams, I found that I was able to tell the truth about my life and only lie about my birth gender.

By doing this I avoided the potentially awkward trans conversation that would ensue and with people who really need not know. I suppose a parallel example would be the stealth transsexual who, rightfully, decides to omit that she was born male.

Her objective is not to deceive but to live as normal life as possible in her chosen gender. In the same way, I find my approach leaves me with a rewarding experience which involves interrelating with people for whom my birth gender need not matter.

I am simply a nice lady that they enjoy speaking with or, in the example of Sabrina, an older person who can offer her some genderless life advice. I have convinced myself that this is not malignant deception but instead omission when I have crossed a bridge and it's too late to turn back in order not to have people think I have a hidden agenda.

Let's face it, I am getting a far richer experience when I am being perceived as a woman by other women. I know what it feels like when that doesn't happen and the payoff is just not nearly as rich and intimate. Women are much more themselves with other women. Men have another level of comradery but it's not as textured or profound.

Conversely, when I am asked if I am transgender or transsexual by a well intentioned person (which rarely happens I must admit) I gladly do my part for our community and act the good spokeswoman.


  1. I am always impressed with the wide range of folks who occupy the "T" universe. I think that every time someone who is "T" to any degree has an opportunity to discuss "T" issues with a civilian it is a good thing. The "one size fits all" label has no more validity in the "T" community" than it does in the marketing of pantyhose.

  2. That is very true Pat. We are definitely not one size fits all so I am happy to celebrate my own uniqueness while speaking to people about what makes us a community...

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