Skip to main content foul

Apologies if my last post insulted anyone's sensibilities.

I was trying to touch on the idea of avoiding transition through more liberal gender expression for those of us who might not be full transsexuals.

I would never presume to speak for those for whom there is no choice in the matter of whether they should or should not go all the way.

At a certain point you do need to make a choice what gender you will inhibit, unless you are an artist or employed in some field where your gender presentation and it's fluidity is not an issue.

I was perhaps being a little Utopian with my ideas but indeed it is sometimes nice to dream...


  1. No harm intended. I would think that by now all of your regular readers would know that while your personal jury may still be out regarding exactly how TG you may be there is no doubt that you are a kind and gentle soul who means no harm to anyone.

  2. I agree with Pat. No offense or presumption taken. I just like to keep everybody's feet on the ground and point out, as you have, that everyone's life is different.

  3. Thank you for your vote of confidence Pat...

  4. Joanna,

    You were quite clear that what you were saying applied to only you so no one should have taken insult with it. The important thing is that you shouldn't worry about what others think and it sounds like you no longer do. That worry just leads to dysphoria. You have no problems passing, if any one has a problem with that it's their problem and not yours.


  5. Thank you lindsay. I know you take low dosage of HRT and that AQV has been full time for many many years and Pat and I cross dress so yes we are indeed different. Vive la difference!

  6. Lest anyone misunderstand, let me be clear I am not "full time", nor am I "living full time". I recovered from a rare congenital disorder a lifetime ago and I do dislike and resent the implications and associations to "full time". Unlike you, I do not "pass". I agree with both you and Lindsay tat we should all respect our differences.

    I may have qualified for the transsexual label a very long time ago for a very short period, (several months), during my recovery from what was then an exceptionally painful and arduous medical procedure. I did in fact change my primary and secondary sexual characteristics. However, you and your readers should know that I never "identified" as "trans" anything and I find that label offensive, insensitive and highly inappropriate. Forty or fifty years ago, it might have applied. Today? Not so much.

    Again, please forgive me for clarifying how I feel about who I am, and how I "identify". While I am not speaking about you specifically, I do find it tiresome that others try to "spin" my past into anything resembling what they might think that they are experiencing now.

  7. I never think of you of as anything else than a woman AQV....

  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

the risks of downplaying dysphoria

Kati’s comment on my post called “Doubting you are trans” got me thinking about the validity of our feelings and the importance of not downplaying them.

Make no mistake: gender dysphoria is real and you are not delusional and by trying to downplay our emotional need to express ourselves we are making a mistake.

At the same time, I am very realistic about what I am doing to treat my dysphoria and understand that I was not born physically female. However, the idea that gender identity is established exclusively through birth genitalia has been pretty convincingly debunked which means that gender and its expression should be left up to the individual and not to society. But unfortunately, we live in a world where disobeying the rules leads to suffering through persecution.

Transition is one way to treat your “gender expression deprivation anxiety” (thank you Anne Vitale for that wonderful term) but it is not the sole method. However, denying that the feelings are real is a recipe for dep…