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progress..

In spite of the discrimination that still exists, its never been a better time in history to be transgender or transsexual.

I know I can see a dramatic difference in how we are treated today by society at large and by the media and it's a far cry from when I was growing up in the 60's and 70's. Back then men either wore dresses to instill laughter or were portrayed as lurid and decadent transvestites or bizarre drag queens in films and TV shows.

Young transgender kids are being diagnosed early and, in many cases, allowed and even encouraged to be themselves by sensitive and caring parents.

By contrast, in the Catholic Spain of the 60's being a trans kid was virtually a prescription for exorcism.

I dared not ever divulge a word about my penchant for dresses and make up to my parents even as I understand now that they might have been far more sympathetic to my situation than I estimated.

Still, my own understanding of what I had was far from what I know today and the science behind it all was in its infancy. Interestingly, we have not progressed significantly from Harry Benjamin's 1966 Opus which is a shame. If anything we have had the opposite where crackpots like Ray Blanchard have postulated mean spirited and caustic theories meant more to stigmatize than help transgender folk discover themselves.

So what have I learnt? Trust your own heart and mind and know that you were made this way for some reason; perhaps not yet divulged to you yet. Love and accept yourself because you have little choice. Guilt and shame will destroy you slowly if you let them.

The blind, ignorant and mean spirited will always be with us but hopefully in increasingly lower numbers.

Comments

  1. Just continue to be you. I have come to recognize the benefits of both my every day maleness and the part time femaleness of my presentation.
    Simply being able to dress and go out on occasion is very helpful. I would like to enter each day with the option of dressing as I choose but I do not see that in my future although as time goes on it is becoming more and more possible for many in the TG spectrum to set their own bounds.
    Pax
    Pat

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    Replies
    1. I always appreciate your support Pat and yes I am finally starting to be me and it feels great. I am dropping the angst ridden research in favour of just being a happy transgender...

      Delete
  2. I really enjoy reading your blogs, they are so honest! Be sure to stop by and join my community, Women Talk... Little Girls Listen. It's kind of a 'getaway'. I'm really interested in speaking with you because we've got a few transgender members in the group, but most of them seem to be afraid to speak up about how their sexuality. I commend you for your honesty and openedness. I'd love to feature your story on our blog, email me when you can, TellTia@live.com

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  3. Hi Tia and thank you very much for your kind words. You can find my story in these pages but if you want me to write something specific I suppose I can.

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  4. I would not be quite so Pollyanna about the acceptance of this whole transgendered thing. For most people, outside that progressive/liberal bubble, it is just a quirk, or (in their minds), just a sexual kink, or worse, a deviant perversion. Just look at the great divide within the LGBT "community". And they are your purported allies.

    Personally, I am not convinced that their exists much more than just politically expedient tolerance. Most people fear what they do not understand. I would be very cautious about being seen as transgendered.

    I think what you are referring to is ignorance. In my view it still exists, and I agree that that ignorance has been compounded by a selfish minority seeking to normalize their own particular quirks, by conflating what are observably different conditions.

    The sad results of this is that the science has been lost in a cacophony of political expediency. Who has paid the price for that ill fated exercise? You and countless others.

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  5. No I do agree that there is much political expediency here and an effort to appear tolerant in front of the public but even so I prefer the open discussion of today and the visibility to the dark days of no discussion and pure derision. I am not about to lower my guard just yet.

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  6. Things today are much better than 20 or 30 years ago. The internet has brought so much more information to the forefront. It has helped us immensely and it has also improved the general publics view. There will always be bigots, there's nothing we can do about that. But the bigots are slowly becoming a the minority.

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  7. They are much better Lindsay I agree; even with all the imperfections. I would rather have been that little kid I was in today's environment than the one I experienced in the 60's and 70's....

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