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the Benjamin scale

Here is the definition of a type IV transsexual on the Benjamin scale:

TYPE IV - Transsexual - Non-Surgical

• Gender "feeling" : Uncertain Wavering between TV and TS. May reject "gender".

• Dressing Habits and Social Life : "Dresses" often as possible with insufficient relief of gender discomfort. May live as man or as a woman.

• Sex Object Choice and Sex Life : Libido low. Generally asexual or autoerotic. May be bisexual.

• Conversion Operation (SRS) : Attractive but not required.

• Hormone Therapy/Estrogen Therapy : Needed for comfort & emotional balance.

• Psychotherapy : Only as guidance, most often refused and unsuccessful.

• Remarks : Social life dependant on circumstances. Often identifies as "transgenderist".

This describes me almost perfectly.

As far as estrogen therapy goes I am not sold on the idea because it would tamper with my brain chemistry, make it harder for me to pass as a male. My saving grace here has been my ability to pass as a woman without the assistance of hormones. Once I removed guilt and shame and I allowed Joanna to blossom then I started to become more satisfied with my dressing outings.

In other words, it helped my gender disphoria.

The problem with this type of transsexual is that they are perennially on the fence and so it will take a management plan to keep my disphoria in check. I think I am slowly achieving such a plan.

I have been very appreciative of the help I have been getting from my readers while I have struggled and posted about how to get where I need to.

Please continue to post because not only are you helping but I am at the same time greatly enjoying the dialogue.


  1. There is a moderator at "T-Central" that uses the moniker, "Callie". He is an older, married with children, dysphoric. He seems to have come up with a management system that works for him, although I know that he struggles mightily.

    He is different in that he does not 'dress' for relief, but has found other methods. You might try contacting him through his link on "T-Central"

  2. I read Calie's blog on a sonewhat regular basis so I am aware. Thanks....

  3. Joanna -

    Yes.... Now you have a definition, the big question (rhetorically) is - What's next? That's the problem for all of us on this path....


  4. Each individual's path is their own. Only they can walk that path as best they can. What is next? That is up to you.

  5. Yes well the plan is to ride the course as is and maybe try to make a life with N if we can sort through the important details. She has understood all of the science and knows much of this is not my fault. Although I did used to blame myself for all of it.

    I need to get my kids through to adulthood first and foremost. Let's see what the day to day of life brings...

  6. oh WOW how i can relate to this whole blog entry!
    it pretty much describes me to a "T".

    i am with you on the hormones that if i can avoid them i'd prefer not needing them as they if not under the proper monitoring of blood work could cause so many other medical issues .
    since i am only 5'6-1/2" and have smaller hands and limited facial hair i like you have been lucky to be passable with out hormones.
    still the physiology of the whole thing about how hormones work and how they can effect and changes us even at a later stage in life is fascinating and amazing to me. i believe that science with the dna mapping is just beginning to understand how much hormonal changes can effect us.
    i knew a endocronologist dr. who said that when he was in college he asked such questions and was told by the profs to just accept it and "to sit down and stop asking all those questions" now he said we are just starting to have the answers to the questions he asked in college.
    i once asked myself if i had a magic wand would i use it and the answer at that time was no as i feared not being able to change back. hence i know that transitioning is not for me.
    but there are days when there is no fighting it so if possible i go with the flow on those days. i get up and get dressed and go about me errands out in the world as diana.
    i asked my neighbor who is a psychotherapist if he thought it ment i was a split personality sort of skitsofrentic (sp?) and he said no because i know who i am at all times even when i go out as diana.
    on those days though i feel i am diana a female out in the world. there have been sales persons in a local beauty supply who refused to believe me until i got to know them that looked confused even when i showed them my male drivers license.

    i don't go out to attract anyone, i don't consider myself gay, i just dress for me as it makes me feel complete. sort of "in the right frame of mind" for that moment in that day.

    thank you for sharing.

  7. There are also types 5 and 6 who decide not to transition. For some only being 100% female will cure the dysphoria.

    I also wouldn't eliminate hormone therapy. On a low dose you would see very little physical change. And you might be surprised to see it greatly reduce your GD.

  8. I am against hormone use Lindsay because they do permanently alter brain chemistry and I am not sure I want to do that. Since I am now able to effectively function as a pert time female now who passes relatively well I would rather just be a good ambassdor for the transgendered just as I am now. I dont require the physical changes to achieve what I need to.

    However I would never close the door to them should my GID get worse...

  9. "There are also types 5 and 6 who decide not to transition"

    Really??? How do you know this. I thought you were an adherent of the Benjamin typology wherein Types V-VI are defined by there urgent need for surgery.

    Frankly I am offended by Lindsay pushing the unsupervised use of mind altering drugs with all their physiological side effects. Perhaps Joanna might be surprised how much those effects are not what were expected. Just because the use some over the counter HRT works for you does not mean you should advise others to try your solution to your problems.

    I understand why you dislike me. It must be horribly unpleasant to have someone question your all knowing "wisdom".

  10. First of all I see surgery as an option for anyone who is TS. But each individual has to decide for themselves if surgery will make them better. Personally, I see surgery as a double edged sword, it would make me externally female, but it wouldn't make me a complete woman. Any TS should be totally aware that biologically they aren't female. Perhaps one day through stem cells or transplants...

    How is suggesting that someone not eliminate the possibility of hormone therapy "pushing the unsupervised use of mind altering drugs"? For me a low dose did wonders for my debilitating GD. I just wanted to make sure that Joanna was aware that this has worked for me and others. I know that others have reported the opposite though, but you can go on a low dose for a short time with little or no long term consequences to see. For me the improvements happened over a very short time period. I know that Joanna has been getting some therapy so if her GD got worse and she decided to try hormones she would do it through her therapist.

    You seem to think I dislike you. We just disagree on some of our opinions. As I've said several times in the past I think we're actually similar, if you'd take the time to really no me we could be friends.

  11. The last line should read:

    if you'd take the time to really get to know me we could be friends.

  12. One other thing, I don't consider hormones, at least for me, to be mind altering. They are mind clearing. For the first time in my life my brain wasn't clogged with the constant din of my gender dysphoria. It allowed my to think clearly and get to the root cause, which for me was the suppression of my female side.

  13. I understand lindsay. This is not a value judgement by the way. I am just saying what my plans are thus far. Who knows what the future holds....


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