Skip to main content

A note about notoriety

I don’t think that trans-activism is always a voluntary thing.

Take the example of Kristin Beck who, by virtue of her very public announcement and history as a navy seal, has little choice but to be a very visual flag bearer of sorts.

For one, Kristin currently makes for a large and unconvincing genetic woman; at least for the time being. She is tall and muscular and walks more like a man. This, by the way, is not a criticism but an observation as I wish her well.

But for another, I know she actually relishes her role in the spotlight and she has talked about running for some sort of office in 2015.

Then there is Chelsea Manning who is already a target of derision.

There are those who already view her transsexualism as a perversion or aberration of nature but in addition she will, unfortunately, be plagued with being a divulger of state secrets; even if those secrets involve unpleasant activities performed by her government for the so called ‘public good’.

If you transition early, are slight and feminine and not in the public spotlight then your chances of passing under the radar are increased. However I have read testimonials of even people like this who live in constant fear of discovery and are plagued with self doubt.

For me this all goes back to the idea of societal tolerance and sensitivity.

Due to the sheer number of transsexuals, albeit small compared to the population at large, makes it that not all will fly under the radar of public notoriety.

Some will relish the spotlight and some will shy away from it at any cost.

There have been stories of people living for decades in stealth only to be discovered and have their lives turned literally upside down.

All of this has challenged the public’s perception and sensitivity on the issue of gender variance.

Kate Bornstein, who is a self-proclaimed gender outlaw, transitioned at the age of 38. She has continued to challenge the tenets of gender through questioning what makes a man or a woman and has been genuinely interested in understanding what is inherent in biology versus what is learned due to societal conformance.

So as long as people continue transitioning in adulthood, society will be continually challenged by how to incorporate them back into the fold in their newly adopted gender role.

If nothing else, the public awareness makes it that the stigma and shock wears off.

People go about their daily life and the earth continues to turn on its axis.

We may not live in Samoa or Thailand but we are adjusting the same way we adjusted to the idea of homosexuality.


  1. A couple of great posts today. I couldn't agree more. Keep up the good work!


  2. "I don’t think that trans-activism is always a voluntary thing. Take the example of Kristin Beck who, by virtue of her very public announcement ..... has little choice but to be a very visual flag bearer of sorts." ~Jo

    What about the voluntary choice to make a "very public announcement"? "...she actually relishes her role in the spotlight and she has talked about running for some sort of office in 2015."

    Not sure what your point is?

  3. My point is that not everyone will be able to go stealth whether through being outed or whether they don't pass as a woman or because they enter the public arena. People like Manning and Beck will always be known as transsexuals. Society is adjusting to this new reality as more of these kinds of people enter the spotlight.

    Christine Jorgensen would also carry around her badge of notoriety by virtue of her being known as the world's first patient to successfully undergo surgical transition (even if technically that wasn't true)

  4. "People like Manning and Beck will always be known as transsexuals."

    Nooo...hey willalways be known as transgender because that s the preferred, politically correct term imposed upon society by those all knowing men in dresses.

    "Society is adjusting to this new reality as more of these kinds of people enter the spotlight"

    Perhaps that is the view from your privileged perspective based on your extensive experience "in the mall". I would respectfully disagree. Think Mike Penner/Christine Daniels.

  5. No need to pick a fight over almost every second post AQV and kindly drop the men in dresses reference as I have said its getting old.

    I am very familiar with the christine daniels suicide.

    This is precisely the point of this post isn't it? Mike penner felt he couldnt transition because the all too public nature of his transition was too much to bear.

    My experience in the mall?? I expect something a little more clever from you but yes by now I can almost always see you coming and what angle you're going to approach something.

  6. I the end it will come down to societal adjustment to transsexuals being visible in society because a great many will remain highly visible whether by choice or not.

    I don't need to have transitioned myself to make that rather obvious point to which you will undoubtedly find objection with.

  7. Mike penner had an incredible amount of support when he transitioned to cristine but of course not everyone is going to be on board with a major decision like his. In the end you lose some friends and some family members in the process and it will certainly be more comnented on if you are already in the spotlight than if you are not. Being a well known sports writer its clear he wasn't going to be able to conceal it.

  8. I realize that you dislike the obvious description of men, wearing dresses. Ok. Perhaps the term transvestite or cross-dresser might work better for you. I really don't care. It is all the same. "Transvestite" is just a sophomoric attempt to somehow elevate the more pedestrian term cross-dresser, which simply describes a man who wears the clothes of the opposite sex.

    You so easily dismiss my objection to your ignorant hubris by attempting to belittle the validity of my objection. You ignorantly proclaim that it is up to society to accept these guys...your "trans-women".

    Well. Perhaps you are right. According to many of those that you and your ilk consider bigoted, separatist haters, these 'trans-women', these men in dresses are essentially harmless. After all, what harm is it if these guys want to dress like women? Who are they hurting? Except for the occasional pervert, most of these men just 'femulate', because it makes them feel better.

    I disagree. I see the leadership of this TG movement, moving for the actual acceptance of these MEN, as actual women. IMHO doing so erodes those few rights to privacy that women still have.

    You might want go here to learn more.

  9. And....Yes. Your extensive experience, 'femulating' in the mall, makes you an expert on just another TG contrived term, "stealth", and the reality of life as a woman? Just wanted to be clear on that because I am of the opinion that you do not have even the most remote of ideas what that reality might be like.

    I have no objection to your going on about how happy you are now that your girlfriend accepts your cross-dressing. I am happy for you that you have finally found away to live with yourself. What I object to are your ill-informed assumptions and conclusions.

    If you honestly believe that society is accepting of TG/'trans-women"/men in dresses, try going to your favorite mall in your favorite dress, and pull off your wig and "come out'....loud and proud.

    My guess is you would be arrested for disturbing the peace.

  10. No but really tell us how you really

  11. I don't dress for pleasure AQV please get that through your thick and bigoted head. I am disphoric and if I may just possibly be a type IV according to benjamin then your men in dresses references mean nothing to me, lindsay, pat or anyone else here.

    You are getting boring and repetive and you clearly have issues you havent resolved.

    Please don't force me to ban you from this site but if you persist in cranking up your rhetoric I most certainly will.

  12. This is getting boring and repetitive and your anger shows you've got a MAJOR bee in your bonnet. But if you think your opinions on all matter on this issue supercede everyone else's by virtue of your own transition then think again.

    I don't now nor will I ever buy into the idea that a transition makes you a woman. It makes into the facsimile of one because gender disphoria or GID or transsexualism is at its root an illness. We don't know where it comes from but its an illness nonetheless.

    I think I suffer from the same illness only in a milder form.

    Until I see evidence to the contrary I will continue to suscribe to this notion.

    You can continue to post here but if you attempt to anatagonise everyone who dares to disagree with YOUR version of things, most especially using vitriol and anger, then your comments will be deleted.

    I don't think I could be more clear.

  13. Hmmmm.....OK. Where is the anger and the vitriol? "...thick and bigoted head." Your words not mine.

    "I am a disphoric male". Again, your words, not mine. I never said you dressed for pleasure, although your highly defensive reaction, screams otherwise.

    "I don't now nor will I ever buy into the idea that a transition makes you a woman."

    Now this is an interesting reversal in that you have stated just the opposite in earlier comments. But then such contradictory reasoning is common in those suffering from advanced stages of dysphoria, (unhappiness).

    While it may be true that you suffer from a disease, it is curable. Like many cancers, tuberculosis, smallpox, malaria, polio and a laundry list of many other "illnesses", medical science has found cures.

    Like cancer, if diagnosed early and treated properly, transsexualism can be cured. Even your politically whacked-out researchers at CAHM have been forced to acknowledge that SRS is an effective cure in SOME/Many, but not all cases.

    Unfortunately if not treated early TS-ism, much like cancer, can/will metastasize and cause a wide variety of co-morbid complications.

    Contrary to your own bone headed thinking, I do not have a "bee in my bonnet". I am just pointing out that your emperor has no clothes.

    In closing, I will again challenge you to point out where I have displayed any anger and vitriol. I have no "position" to defend. I have no agenda or thesis. I paid my dues in blood, suffering and treasure and I have a lifetime of memories and rewards to show for it.

    I showed your comments to my husband and he just laughed. Perhaps he knows something that you do not.

  14. You might try to understand the true meaning of these words of wisdom.

  15. Perhaps you should ask yourself why you are the only person who comes to my blog constantly looking to refute even the most basic statements.

    I didnt know by the way that your husband is intimately fsmiliar with the latest thinking on trans issues but whatever.

    Statements like "emperor has no clothes" are complete gibberish and have no meaning so where you are going with that is beyond me.

    I have anger issues?? Hmmm lets see...

    Men in dresses, men in dresses, evil transgender agenda, bla, bla, bla...

    I am not the least bit angry but simply tired of the same broken record from you. It becomes boring.

    Interesting to note thst biological women have far less issue with people like me in society than so called "true transsexuals" who are petrified that in giving higher visibility and tolerance for gender variance in society for some bizarre reason.

    I now understand very well why jack molay has simply banned you from posting on his site as you likely kept coming back with the same repetitive mantra: men in dresses, transgender conspiracy....etc, etc..

    I know my cure is not to transition which is why I am not doing so. I won't become a woman by doing so.

    You msy want to ask yourself why you feel so compelled to come here and correct my errors of judgement if you are perfectly secure in who you are.

    You're at strike 2....

  16. Making derisive comments like my experience at the mall, making fun of femulating etc shows that it is YOU who have anger issues and its obvious to everyone who comes here. I havr been advised by others just to ban you I resist because I don't want to stifle discourse.

    My friend Sherry who transitioned in her twenties does not share your point of view so I wouldnt presume to speak for all transsexuals.

    If you think I will allow this blog to become a platform for you to put people like me in their place I suggest you start your own.

  17. Maybe you can call it "Disgruntled HBS transsexuals and the transgender agenda"

  18. OK fine. You are right. Men are always right. It is obvious that, like most men, you are simply incapable of accepting a view which conflicts with your dysphoric male-centric view of the world.

    Why am I the only one who disagrees with you and our sycophants? Because despite your angry, disparaging denials, I am the only woman here willing to point out the holes in your highly biased and self exculpatory machinations and factual distortions.

    You are just too bloody scared of taking an honest look at reality. In your trans-think, anybody who throws on a dress, some make-up and a wig, is a woman.

    Pul-eeese! The world does just not work that way. I dispute your "basic statements" because they are patently inaccurate. Just like most men who are threatened by intelligent assertive women, you get angry and defensive, not just at her "chutzpah" in challenging, you but more importantly because you have no valid, logical response and so you just display that typically male kneejerk reaction and attack the messenger.

    Oh of luck.. Cya. Woundn't wanna Bya

  19. "In your trans-think, anybody who throws on a dress, some make-up and a wig, is a woman"?????

    Sorry AQV you clearly have some issues because nothing could be further from the truth. You either have not being paying attention or I have given you way too much credit for being smart.

    You're a troubled one trick pony with some obvious frustrations.

    I am a male who wears a dress and that is obvious to me and to anyone who comes to this blog. But I also, like Lindsay and others, have gender disphoria which has not just been confirmed by me but by the hospital program that treated me.

    By coming here and repeating your mantra you are helping no one.

    You would'nt want to be me and I most certainly would not want to be you. On that we can agree on.

  20. "I am a male who wears a dress and that is obvious to me and to anyone who comes to this blog. But I also, like Lindsay and others, have gender disphoria which has not just been confirmed by me but by the hospital program that treated me." ~Jo. Glad we got that out of the way.

    However, I will disagree with you on this....."You're a troubled one trick pony with some obvious frustrations." ~Jo.

    I can assure you that I have many more than just "one trick".

    Now that we have agreed on that, let me reiterate my original point: I have NO issue with the issues that we have agreed upon above. My objection stems form your seemingly intentional failure to understand that as a 50+ y/o man, not really living, but occasionally dressing as a woman, you have no idea what the concerns of someone, who has lived a lifetime as a woman, might be. There simply is no comparison. With all due respect, you have absolutely no frame of reference.

    People like Christen Beck and even Mike Penner could have transitioned quietly if, and only if, they were able and willing to walk away from their past, and their acquired male privilege. Yes. I understand. It is a huge price to pay but women do not have male privilege any more than they have 'male junk'.

    I think perhaps if you could somehow manage to stop interpreting everything I say as a personal attack upon you, you might find that my comments are made in good faith. Please understand that my original reference to men in dresses, was not directed toward you. It was directed towards the so called leadership of the trans* movement. who celebrate their male genitalia and demand that the world accept them and their male bodied "sisters", as women, with all those few remaining rights, questionable, "privileges" and minimal protections.

  21. understood and appreciated as long as you understand that when I speak about gender disphoria I am not attacking your womanhood. Everything I write here is done so in good faith and my attitude is that whatever suits you is what is best for you.

    I don't agree about Beck and Penner however since their notoriety was far too great in order for them to do so quietly. is it fair to require that Mike retire from the newspaper business so that Cristine may live?

    perhaps he was just not ready to take such a huge leap.

  22. " it fair to require that Mike retire from the newspaper business so that Cristine may live?"

    Who said anything about fair? Life is what it is. Males have privilege. Mike's career was Mike's career. Mike earned it, not Christine. Either one of these guys could have, (should have), walked away from their past if, it was their utmost desire/need to BE women.

    As it turned out, these guys chose to be something other than women. They chose to keep their privilege, their history and to become trans-women. In all honestly, I see this as a terribly untenable situation, even today. If they were not prepared to "take such a leap", then perhaps they should have kept their feet on the ground as you are doing.

    FYI, I do not take your occasional random attacks on my integrity, my "womanhood" as you call it, personally. I see them for what they are, just your angry reactions to your obviously painful frustrations. I don't hold I against you. I am sure that they hurt you much more than they could possibly hurt me.

    Be well,

  23. they are not attacks but just responses to your very stridently getting your back up when I post something you evidently don't like. I simply respond in kind. Nothing personal either.

    I don't think that there should be such a thing as male priviledge. Whether you transition from male to female or female to male you should not in every case have to give up your career, your family or your friends.

    Some people have been fortunate in this regard and other very much not. Most of this is driven by fear, lack of understanding and prejudice which is very often unwarranted. Just because I understand that society works this way does not mean I have to agree with it.

    Blacks would still be riding at the back of the bus if we had'nt had a civil rights movement so change needs to happen but unfortunately it happens with much pain.

    I would have every expectation of holding on to my job if I were to transition and my company confirmed as much to me. Whether I would be able to put up with the prejudice coming from some is another question of course. But its fair to say that my job could be done by a woman or by a man.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. The female side is no longer an unwelcome appendage which, as a result, has allowed me to craft a more genuine and happier male image.

I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.

Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.

The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones…