Skip to main content

We've come a long way...

I am a biological male and intend to stay that way for the rest of my life. That has always been my aim and this blog was started only to examine why, since a very young age, I have been drawn to the idea of being female and expressing myself as such.

In the process I have sought and received feedback from other disphorics in order to encourage an open dialogue. It has been a wonderful learning experience.

If transition was ever weighed it was in the spirit of trying to understand if that might not be the best solution for a person like me. I now know that it is not.

Whether my own disphoria is caused by exposure to EDC’s prenatally and/or sociological factors is now irrelevant.

What remains now is the intellectual curiosity of what are the likely causes of gender disphoria in general and how it should best be treated.

A few posts ago, I featured an excerpt from an article that discussed the accommodation approach versus the reparative. The former approach would involve respecting the inclinations of the child towards their preferred gender while the latter would attempt to have them adjust to their birth gender.

One consensus of the article was that there is no one size fits all approach and each case should be treated individually; another is that most experts (including the reparative Dr. Zucker) agree that once gender disphoria carries over into adulthood it is there to stay.

I am in that latter situation but I have found a way to cope. Would the technique I am using now have worked back when I was in my teens? Well it did but I scarcely permitted myself to employ it because I thought I had to eradicate all traces of my inclination towards gender variance.

Might I have benefited from the reparative approach when I was a child? Possibly yes.

We don’t live in Samoa or Thailand but I do think that more tolerance of gender variance in our society is part of the answer for people like me. The progress we have made in my own lifetime astounds me and I can scarcely imagine what another 25 years will bring.

We need to remember that it’s not like this is disease that is contagious. People who exhibit gender variance represent a tiny sliver of the population and an even smaller percentage than that of homosexuals in society.

But I am not seeking special rights since crossdressing is not against the law where I live. In fact I am just happy being able to publicly express myself in the way I do whether people know I am a male or not. It no longer matters to me because the fear of discovery is no longer there.

I see the change most in the young generation. They impress me and the treatment I have received at their hands at makeup counters and coffee shops and dress shops when I wasn’t quite passing as well as I do now has been nothing short of astounding.

We have indeed come a long way.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…