Skip to main content

Epilogue

I hadn't planned on adding more entries here. Things are going well and I've got this management plan in place that is helping me deal with my dysphoria.

To all who are facing this beast my heart goes out to you because it's not an easy road.

It took me a long while to love myself as I am and to realize that there is no shame in being transgender.

It's a disease of the mind but it can be tamed and managed and it need not lead to transition. Think long and hard before going down that road because it is filled with many obstacles and, for some, deep regret. You need to be rid of all your demons and be more lucid than you've ever been in your entire life to even attempt going down it.

N and I are very happy together and we love each other as we are; wrinkles and foibles and dysphoria aside. We love each other in spite of everything.

To those who haven't read Harry Benjamin's "The Transsexual Phenomenon" I strongly urge that you do. If you are gender dysphoric you will find your life story within its pages. It is a timeless work devoid of gender politics and utterly brilliant in its simplicity and wisdom; written by a man who made it his life work to study people such as myself in order to try and determine what makes us tick.

No one has come close to his personal patient history and to this day it is still unrivaled as a work of scientific analysis into gender confusion.

Dysphoria is somehow rooted in biology and of that I am virtually certain. Please seek therapy for yours as it is essential that you find someone who understands the subject and can guide you through your thought process in coping with it. Don't settle for just anyone and make sure this person has treated many others like you before heeding their counsel.

Most of all have internal balance and peace of mind and know that your are loved by your creator.

Comments

  1. I think life can be a struggle sometimes whether you do take the leap or not. No choice is easy.
    I hope life continues to go well for you x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Joanna -

    I hope that you'll resume blogging - if only to let the world know how you manage being TG while having a life. There are so many TG's out there that are afraid to spread their wings - and you have done so. Yes, you started the blog to help articulate what you were going through. Vut you have a whole lot more to say - if only to document your TG journeys.

    Keep in touch - even if only by email...

    Marian

    ReplyDelete
  3. thank you Becca for your kind words.

    Marian I will keep in touch. I still read your blog on occasion and so glad to see you are doing well. You are a good and kind soul.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just wanted to pop in and give my two little cents. I for one love the author of this blog because he is so real and compassionate. I am the owner of an all women's organization and I have a member who has been with us for about a year now. He isn't a transgendered male but he does enjoy partaking and dressing in women's clothing. We have accepted him with open arms ( of course he has told us horror stories about people teasing him and leaving him out to dry). Since we have welcomed him into our community and over the course of the year that he has been here, he had grown and opened himself up sharing his story with all of us. I have been reading this blog for over a few months now and it has granted me the understanding of that I needed to really relate to my cross dressing member and between you and him, I have learned the ups and downs, the Dos and don't of this community. My member reached out to me a few days ago and said that he wanted to finally open his life up and answer questions from people h
    Who where uneducated about the Transgender and cross-dressing world. So we did and I learned so much about it. Anyway, I am saying all this because a.) You inspired me to open my mind and really understand what you all go through on the course of one day and b.) I would love to gain your support. Maybe you all could check out the article and add some input to it, showing my member a bit more support. Here is the link, I would love to gain your support and hear your feedback http://sontia.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-answers-from-other-side.html?m=1

    ReplyDelete
  5. Joanna,
    It is nice to see you have added to your blog. I agree with Marian that your voice was one that was helpful to many. You always presented an honest and realistic approach to your issues.
    I am glad that things are going well for you and for N.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am glad I could help Sontia...and thank you Pat for the kind words!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…