Skip to main content

Epilogue

I hadn't planned on adding more entries here. Things are going well and I've got this management plan in place that is helping me deal with my dysphoria.

To all who are facing this beast my heart goes out to you because it's not an easy road.

It took me a long while to love myself as I am and to realize that there is no shame in being transgender.

It's a disease of the mind but it can be tamed and managed and it need not lead to transition. Think long and hard before going down that road because it is filled with many obstacles and, for some, deep regret. You need to be rid of all your demons and be more lucid than you've ever been in your entire life to even attempt going down it.

N and I are very happy together and we love each other as we are; wrinkles and foibles and dysphoria aside. We love each other in spite of everything.

To those who haven't read Harry Benjamin's "The Transsexual Phenomenon" I strongly urge that you do. If you are gender dysphoric you will find your life story within its pages. It is a timeless work devoid of gender politics and utterly brilliant in its simplicity and wisdom; written by a man who made it his life work to study people such as myself in order to try and determine what makes us tick.

No one has come close to his personal patient history and to this day it is still unrivaled as a work of scientific analysis into gender confusion.

Dysphoria is somehow rooted in biology and of that I am virtually certain. Please seek therapy for yours as it is essential that you find someone who understands the subject and can guide you through your thought process in coping with it. Don't settle for just anyone and make sure this person has treated many others like you before heeding their counsel.

Most of all have internal balance and peace of mind and know that your are loved by your creator.

Comments

  1. I think life can be a struggle sometimes whether you do take the leap or not. No choice is easy.
    I hope life continues to go well for you x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Joanna -

    I hope that you'll resume blogging - if only to let the world know how you manage being TG while having a life. There are so many TG's out there that are afraid to spread their wings - and you have done so. Yes, you started the blog to help articulate what you were going through. Vut you have a whole lot more to say - if only to document your TG journeys.

    Keep in touch - even if only by email...

    Marian

    ReplyDelete
  3. thank you Becca for your kind words.

    Marian I will keep in touch. I still read your blog on occasion and so glad to see you are doing well. You are a good and kind soul.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just wanted to pop in and give my two little cents. I for one love the author of this blog because he is so real and compassionate. I am the owner of an all women's organization and I have a member who has been with us for about a year now. He isn't a transgendered male but he does enjoy partaking and dressing in women's clothing. We have accepted him with open arms ( of course he has told us horror stories about people teasing him and leaving him out to dry). Since we have welcomed him into our community and over the course of the year that he has been here, he had grown and opened himself up sharing his story with all of us. I have been reading this blog for over a few months now and it has granted me the understanding of that I needed to really relate to my cross dressing member and between you and him, I have learned the ups and downs, the Dos and don't of this community. My member reached out to me a few days ago and said that he wanted to finally open his life up and answer questions from people h
    Who where uneducated about the Transgender and cross-dressing world. So we did and I learned so much about it. Anyway, I am saying all this because a.) You inspired me to open my mind and really understand what you all go through on the course of one day and b.) I would love to gain your support. Maybe you all could check out the article and add some input to it, showing my member a bit more support. Here is the link, I would love to gain your support and hear your feedback http://sontia.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-answers-from-other-side.html?m=1

    ReplyDelete
  5. Joanna,
    It is nice to see you have added to your blog. I agree with Marian that your voice was one that was helpful to many. You always presented an honest and realistic approach to your issues.
    I am glad that things are going well for you and for N.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am glad I could help Sontia...and thank you Pat for the kind words!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…