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dressing for success

Stana of Femulate inspired me to write this today because she is a model for people like me and this was the topic of her blog today.

Crossdressing successfully in the real world takes a bit of courage and actually something I am not actually trying to achieve as I am trying to present as a female. People may be sure I am a woman or perhaps doubt it but if they do no one admits it to me and that is because I don’t intentionally mention that I am a male.

I have worked on my voice and on my overall presentation in order to be successfully perceived as a woman and not as an obviously crossdressed male. If I were not trying to pass as a female I would not bother disguising my voice or dress to blend in for example.

That is my idea of success but it need not be yours.

But I suppose success means a different thing for each person and I suppose that is the point isn’t it?

The idea is that you should be trying to do whatever you feel comfortable doing as long as no one is being harmed or you are being fired from your job.

If you work as a librarian and you are allowed to wear a dress but still present as male then by all means do. This scenario by the way represents someone’s reality that I have read about and he is respected at his place of work.

I don’t for one minute think that there will be a huge acceptance in society for men in dresses but then there doesn’t have to be because the vast majority of men would not be caught dead in one outside of the occasional Halloween.

But for those of us who are grappling with gender issues, crossdressing successfully in the world can be a very effective way to manage our attraction to the female without needing to transition.

I know in my case I actually feel I am somewhere in the middle. In my mind, my gender is neither perfectly male nor perfectly female and that mindset requires that I express my female side in the way that I do even if I do not entirely comprehend the reason for it.

I need to dress successfully in the world in order to feel whole.

The world is never going to fully accept you but you need to accept and love yourself first and that is your primary goal. After that work towards the success you are after; whatever that may be.