Skip to main content

learning a new language

Exploring your true feelings can sometimes take an enormous amount of courage because doing so is almost like learning a new language.

There is an inherent fear in all human beings to avoid change and to stay with the known; even if that which is known is not the best thing for us.

When you first allow yourself to question basic tenets pertaining to gender roles you realize that going against what is expected often confuses and angers people. This is not always the case for all but it is for most.

Families are torn apart and friendships abandoned.

So when you muster up the courage and learn the language which allows you to interpret your feelings in a new way, it’s like opening a window to a new reality; a reality which may upset people and could destroy what you have built over a lifetime. This is why this process is so hard.

I never thought that I could question anything regarding my life role and the expectations that came with it. But I finally learned that I could take an active role in redefining my expectations for myself instead of counting on what others thought I should be.

This process can be for many of us interminably long because there is so much change involved. Learning a new language is taxing and time consuming but the rewards come in due course.

When you are trapped in that horrible confusion of where your life is going is when the overwhelming need to act finally takes over. You initiate the process because you have no other choice. You need to find a baseline that works or your mental health will suffer.

My last post dealt with Anne Vitale’s work with people who feel trapped in a box. They deny and negate what is there at all costs because to want to be something other than what they think they should be is unimaginable.

To learn to redefine what is ultimately right and what is only societal conformity takes time and in the process of living we learn to figure out the difference.

But if we do not question we do not grow as human beings.

Many people do not question and do what they are told but at the expense of being who they are. In order to live authentically we have needed to teach ourselves a new language that allows us to interpret things differently and to question things that make no sense.

You owe yourself nothing less.


Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…