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learning a new language

Exploring your true feelings can sometimes take an enormous amount of courage because doing so is almost like learning a new language.

There is an inherent fear in all human beings to avoid change and to stay with the known; even if that which is known is not the best thing for us.

When you first allow yourself to question basic tenets pertaining to gender roles you realize that going against what is expected often confuses and angers people. This is not always the case for all but it is for most.

Families are torn apart and friendships abandoned.

So when you muster up the courage and learn the language which allows you to interpret your feelings in a new way, it’s like opening a window to a new reality; a reality which may upset people and could destroy what you have built over a lifetime. This is why this process is so hard.

I never thought that I could question anything regarding my life role and the expectations that came with it. But I finally learned that I could take an active role in redefining my expectations for myself instead of counting on what others thought I should be.

This process can be for many of us interminably long because there is so much change involved. Learning a new language is taxing and time consuming but the rewards come in due course.

When you are trapped in that horrible confusion of where your life is going is when the overwhelming need to act finally takes over. You initiate the process because you have no other choice. You need to find a baseline that works or your mental health will suffer.

My last post dealt with Anne Vitale’s work with people who feel trapped in a box. They deny and negate what is there at all costs because to want to be something other than what they think they should be is unimaginable.

To learn to redefine what is ultimately right and what is only societal conformity takes time and in the process of living we learn to figure out the difference.

But if we do not question we do not grow as human beings.

Many people do not question and do what they are told but at the expense of being who they are. In order to live authentically we have needed to teach ourselves a new language that allows us to interpret things differently and to question things that make no sense.

You owe yourself nothing less.

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