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what do you need?

Gender dysphoria eventually commands your attention.

If you are gender dysphoric and you do not address your gender expression deprivation anxiety it will build and build and, if left untreated, it will virtually incapacitate you.

I know because it happened to me.

The next question becomes: what is the extent to which you must go to alleviate your anxiety? Will cross gender expression be enough? Will testosterone blockers be required? How about an orchiectomy or HRT?

The truth is that it is very difficult to know and sometimes our approach can be influenced by well intentioned therapists or others who are in similar situations to our own.

So how do we know what approach to take? In truth we don’t and the advice I give to myself is to do the minimum I need to in order to stay balanced. In other words less is better.

Before the advent of surgery and cross sex hormones people like me lived full lives with no bodily alterations; they had no choice. With the new possibilities available to us we can now imagine ourselves living as the other sex but how do we know our lives will be better afterwards?

The truth is we don’t.

I would never venture to advise anyone on this matter but would only counsel that they truly reflect on what they are willing to live with or without and what a worst case scenario would be for them.

Sometimes what we think we want and what we truly need are two different things.


  1. Excellent advice Joanna, however it is difficult for us who have been socialised as males (and in the modern world the same is true for many females) to get in touch with our selves/out bodies to know what we really want. This is where I have found AFP

    and Feminine Power

    and even The Red Tent Revival

    to be particular useful for people like us.


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