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You've got to have friends

I suppose it would be nice to have a crossdressing friend that I had a lot in common with and whose company I really valued. I have had no success in the past in this regard which is why I have ended up befriending natal women instead and really quite by accident.

Admittedly it feels good to be accepted by the small group of women that know me and this has helped make some of my outings as Joanna less boring and more social; and since I can’t see myself going to crossdressing meetings with men who don’t know how to dress properly or don’t pass sufficiently well to blend in I don’t think my situation will change soon. Being accompanied by someone who makes me even more of a target will make my time out less enjoyable and potentially more dangerous as well.

I meet these women sporadically for a coffee it and it allows us to catch up on each other’s lives and share some humour or sometimes exchange parental advice. They know me as a divorced mother of two teens which, in the end, is not so much a fib.

I have mentioned in previous posts that I don’t feel comfortable deceiving anyone but it was a challenge at that time to see how effective my voice and presentation could be. Once I got there it was too late to turn back and I admit I do enjoy not having to deal with transgender topics and just be Joanna for a short while with someone who accepts me as another female.

I don’t blame N in the least for not accompanying me and in truth I would have trouble having her see me gesture and speak when I’m in Joanna mode. In that sense, the current scenario works in that I need to dress regularly to stay balanced and happy while she wants and deserves a male lover and life partner.

So we make things work as best we can given the circumstances.


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another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…