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an organic process

For the first time in my life I am happy with both my male and female presentations.

Yes there was the inevitably journey to mental peace about how to deal effectively with my dysphoria but along with that came the work to achieve a physical presentation that would allow me to comfortably go out in public with a certain degree of confidence and comfort.

At present, I feel I have developed a style of clothing and makeup that works for me. It is age appropriate, not overly flash but not dowdy or matronly either. It is a palette that has taken a little bit of time to develop and it has happened in tiny steps; as all good things do.

Because we are not trained from a young age as females, it takes us a while to develop a look that is uniquely our own and works for our body type. Everyone has colours and styles they favour but that does not mean we can pull them off nor should we try.

When you find something that works you know it. Clothes fit better and you look yourself up and down in the mirror and say: yes that’s it.

I like to think that it’s the organic me because I have blended everything that defines me into both male and female presentations and can be proud of both. They both represent who I am and give me comfort and joy.

The mental process however is the most difficult and once you develop the self confidence and poise to carry yourself proudly in the world the physical comes along for the ride in due time.

And it does so slowly and organically.









Comments

  1. I like the idea of allowing both male and female to exist however I have found it hard to like the male side of me. I don't feel attractive as a man, but I do as a woman. Since it doesn't look like I'll be transitioning anytime soon or ever for that matter I guess I need to learn to like him. I would like to hear how you and others have attempted this. Would you by any chance be open to posting a male photo of yourself? It would be great as a reader to see that side of you.

    As for finding my style, I love any store without changing room attendants. They are great for carrying heaps of clothing in to see how it looks and feels on me. Kohls and Thrift stores are by far my favorites so far.

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  2. I might consider doing this at some point Josh...yes...but its important that you reflect on your personhood first rather than as a male or female caricature. Be the male you want to be and not the male people expect you to be. That is how I have come to a reconciliation of both sides.

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