Skip to main content


Anne Lawrence is a self diagnosed paraphilic male who lives as a transitioned woman yet does not believe that she is one. She does however freely admit that her autogynephilia has benefited from the transition process.

What is both interesting and ironic to note is that advocates of AGP theory have an ally in Anne who should represent the anti-thesis of what Ray Blanchard says this is all about; namely that it’s about men with a sexual fetish. But yet there is Anne presumably happy living as a female.

Something is definitely amiss here.

Ray Blanchard and Michael Bailey have used derogatory language in describing their patients as men and yet they concede that many have been helped by transition. But if this is only about fetish then should not the person be happy in their birth sex and should they not simply practice their paraphilic behaviour to their heart’s content?

The truth is that we don’t know why certain patients benefit from transition and some do not. We have not yet found the predicting formula that identifies the presence of gender dysphoria and the only thing the clinician has to go on is the absolute certainty of his patient that he or she can no longer continue living in a gender role aligned with their birth sex.

But as rigorous as the process is, there are still errors made and diagnoses flubbed.

Samantha Kane was a successful socialite woman (nee Sam Hashimi) who, after seven years of trying to live as a female, decided to return to living as a man. So it begs the question: why was she approved for surgery in the first place and what are the conclusive signs that we have the correct diagnosis?

We sometimes don’t get it right and people like Walt Hayer, Renee Richards and Philip Porter represent other examples of changebacks or, in the case of Richards, partial regretters who could perhaps have taken different routes.

But as we saw from the case of David Reimer, there seems to be a biological predisposition to our sense of internal gender identity. Here was a boy raised as a girl from birth who, without the presence of dysphoria, was not able to live comfortably in the world as a female.

That predisposition to feel that one’s internal gender is in opposition to their birth sex is the common thread among all dysphorics and we know it varies in intensity from person to person. This is what led Harry Benjamin to develop his disorientation scale.

How an individual deals with that disconnect is highly unpredictable and will depend on many factors which include the person’s life commitments, religious beliefs, sexual orientation and job situation.

As Lynn Conway has noted: the only certainty you have is the present and how you feel right now.
Sam Hashimi / Samantha Kane


  1. I must admit I have wondered how Anne Lawrence came to embrace a theory that invalidates her as a woman. But I have come to the conclusion that at the time, this was the only theory that actually acknowledged that pre op transwomen might get aroused by imagining themselves as women.

    Too many trans women tried to live up to the gatekeeper gospel of close to asexual, chaste, womanhood, so they wouldn't admit to what was a quite common feeling. Or at least not publicly.

    This says a lot about how important it is to have theories and narratives that reflect the real lives of transgender people, and not the stereotypes.

  2. Jack I think that you are right in this. There was no better theory out there and better to espouse a faulty model than none at all. However a fetish or paraphilia should not lead to approval of GRS so for me this is one of the most fundamental flaws in the work of Blanchard.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…