I had let many decades go without really looking inward and try to understand myself; to attempt to determine why I had always had that deep attraction to the feminine from a young age.
My gender therapy in 2007 was a first step to finding out that none of this was my fault and I need not seek forgiveness for something that came naturally to me in the first place. It has taken a lot of work since then to make sense of things and come to some sort of equilibrium.
I now know that my gender dysphoria is permanent but I have found the management tool to help me cope with it; namely frequent cross gender expression.
The tone of my blog has also changed slowly over time and there are two main reasons for why I have continued to make my thoughts public: One is to elicit feedback from others like myself and the other is to try and assist those who are also questioning their gender role and don’t know how to cope with the feelings.
Being transgender need not be a curse even if society deems it so and, now in my early fifties, I care less and less about society’s myopic vision on most topics. In the absence of clear direction from others you need to be your own rudder; most especially when the issue is as grey as this one is.
Gender theory is fine but after reading much of it I have realized that it is mostly inconclusive. There are simply no black and white answers.
The most important element now is education of the public and the demystification of cross gender expression in all its forms. I don’t care whether you are for or against the idea of a transgender umbrella because it changes nothing for those who do not understand what all this is about. For the layman not versed in gender theory it is a moot and irrelevant point since it is so foreign to their personal experience. They simply do not question their gender identity because they don’t need to.
This is now about tolerance and respect for our differences. We all have a right to be happy and lead healthy and prosperous lives. We have the right to be free of discrimination from those who find our difference abhorrent and beyond comprehension.
Education will be the key.