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Stana's post from today had me reflecting.

No one chooses to be transsexual or transgendered and it is simply thrust upon you at an early age. With that knowledge it's up to you to sink or swim. I have chosen the latter.

It's interesting that much of the prejudice thrust upon the gender variant presupposes choice. People who are the most ardent attackers take the position that one can repair themselves.

However if one understands this condition to be likely a mixture of nurture and nature (with predominance on the latter in my view) the damage that can be done to the person can be substantial. We all know that a "pray the gay away" approach does not work but many people in the general population do not subscribe to this view. If the young person ingests the message that they can repair themselves you are sending two messages:

1) If you fail it's because you're not trying hard enough

2) Being the way you are is undesirable

When the young person takes these implied truths to heart there is no way the outcome will be good. Upon having failed to defeat their condition they become disheartened and the impact on the self esteem will be deeply felt.

I know these statements to be incorrect but it wasn't always the case and it took many decades to undo the harm.

Waiting for society to catch up to us is not a viable option but instead we should choose to embrace whatever position we occupy on the transgendered spectrum and claim it fully. Hopefully by having people see well adjusted and dignified people, the tide will slowly turn.

One of the unfortunate setbacks in recent years has been the clinical acceptance by the establishment of the work of Ray Blanchard. His approach contrasts sharply with the sympathetic and very humane direction which Harry Benjamin and Anne Vitale had adopted. This has not impacted the layman but has resulted in a more negative and less empathetic model which unfortunately ended up in the DSM.

This model is being slowly dismantled but there is still work to be done.


  1. I like the concept that each of us on the TG spectrum should embrace whatever position we occupy and claim it fully. I like being a male. I have a decent position and a wonderful wife and family. I just enjoy dressing and getting out and about. While the first steps out the door were full of fear and trauma I am now at the point where I am rather at ease presenting as a very large nicely dressed person in hose and heels. I can discourse with people as nicely in my femme presentation as I can in my day to day male role.

  2. You seem to be one of those people that is very comfortable where they are. Good for you Pat!


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