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no "one size fits all"

Walt Heyer seems like a decent and genuine fellow. He runs a website called sexchangeregret where he highlights the dangers of having GRS without having the proper information and guidance. He himself had the surgery and reverted to living as a male.

Thorin25 is the online handle of a minister who is healing from, what he has called, a crossdressing addiction. I have posted a couple of times on his site my views on the subject.

As I understand it, both have had conversions in large part due to their religious convictions.

We know there are people who have had GRS and are very content with their lives just as there are others who crossdress and are also happy and balanced individuals. Having GRS when your life is in turmoil or you have unresolved personal issues is likely one of the worst things you could do. For others who have reflected and pondered the question at great length it has been the panacea that has brought them internal peace and resolution. Conversely, the practice of crossdressing to help manage gender dysphoria can be just the ticket for those of us who see GRS as a less desirable option.

I myself won’t be having GRS but have contacts and friends who have and they are perfectly happy with their decision decades later. Just as I know crossdressers who are also happy and have found a balance.

I think the best thing is to heed the advice of others, learn from their mistakes and realize that the reasons their decisions did not work for them need not be the same ones that apply to you. It’s how you manage your life that counts and while counsel can be and often is useful, there is no substitute for making a decision based on your own process of reflection.

When I was undergoing gender therapy they never told me what to do but simply questioned me about my thought process and made me reflect on the things I had taken as gospel. They never told me what to think or do.

Ultimately if either transition or regular crossdressing are beneficial to you it will be revealed through the impact these decisions have on your life. If you are more content, fulfilled and psychologically balanced then you know you have done the right thing.

As a practicing Catholic I am not convinced that this is as much a religious issue as much as a matter of mental health. Genuine cases of gender dysphoria require management and, for some individuals, this sometimes means gender transition. While I would advocate that option as a last resort, I don't think God would punish you for tending to a birth defect you did not ask for.

Walt Hayer


  1. It is the most accurate statement that you can make about any of us dealing or blessed with gender issues. One size fits all does not work when it comes to us any more than it ever did for pantyhose. In fact, as Sly Stone sang some 40 years ago "Different Strokes for Different Folks".
    We are all different and we all have to face our own situations and try to match our inclinations and desires with the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
    I have no issues with being Catholic or reconciling my dressing and my spirituality. God loves men and women. I think that includes everyone regardless of where society may place us.

  2. as always thanks for your input Pat...


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