Skip to main content

therapeutic reservations

I admit I have some reservations about gender therapy.

First let me state that I think it is a good thing to seek help when you are in distress. You need to bounce your feelings off someone and have them ask you questions or simply have them listen while you speak thus providing you with a sounding board. We benefit greatly as human beings from simply unloading our thoughts and fears by sharing them with another human being.

However, I now believe that there is no substitute for the natural gestation period that time and patience affords you.

You need to catch your breath and spend many hours reflecting on your own. You need to analyse your thought processes which have been coloured by social and parental conditioning and allow yourself the time to dissect them. In essence, you need time to understand what makes you tick.

I remember sitting in the waiting room before going in to see Helene Cote (a gender therapist I saw for a short time while I was still reflecting on a possible transition) and briefly meeting a fellow patient. I struck up a short conversation with this person and came away with the impression that there was something wrong there. She was somewhere in mid transition but I sensed some sadness in her. I estimated that she was in her mid fifties. Afterwards upon entering Helene’s office she was surprised to hear that we had struck up a conversation because she confided that this patient was very wary of speaking to strangers and had some social interaction issues.

After three sessions with Helene, I decided to abandon the entire process. I wanted to spend more time reflecting on my own and get to really know myself. The year that I spent doing this was the most productive and therapeutic one I have ever spent in my life.

My feeling now is that if I had gone into a therapy setting at that time I might have been influenced into transitioning more easily before getting my own thoughts in order. Of course I understand that many people transition lucidly and after much reflection but I also know of others who have regretted their decision.

No one can choose or influence your life path for you and any major life decision should be made in the sobering light of a deep introspection.

You owe yourself nothing less.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…