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letting go

If you reflect on it logically, cross gender expression makes absolutely no sense. It is irrational behavior that goes against expectation. It is counterintuitive.

If you close your rational mind however, things look entirely different and from the point of view of the gender dysphoric it is validating and esteem building behaviour. The problem for many of us however is that we were viewing it from the vantage point of the outsider. From that perspective we are downright bizarre individuals.

The only way out is to marry the rational with the irrational and have them make peace with each other. The alternative is to experience gender expression deprivation anxiety which I suffered a good portion of my life. Coming out of that hole I had dug for myself took an incredible amount of mental energy which in retrospect need not have been required. Such was the spell I was under.

So while I am keeping my thinking cap on, I am also honoring the way I was made by simply doing what comes natural. My hunt for a full explanation is drawing to a close and while I will endeavor to post things here that pertain to the science of gender dysphoria, I am not hanging on the expectation that we will discover its origins in my lifetime.

I have a new perspective on things now and I simply need to continue letting go and live my life.


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