Skip to main content

a chance encounter

I was at a Starbucks this past week and was just leaving when a woman poked me gently on the shoulder. She asked me if I knew who she was and after thinking about it for a second I recognized her. It was Helene Cote: the gender therapist I had seen a few times and have mentioned in this blog.

She was there with her young daughter but I asked if she could spare 5 minutes so we could have a brief chat since she asked me how I was faring. After collecting her beverages, she sat down with me for a short discussion. She told me that her daughter asked who the lady was, and her reply had been that I was a friend.

I quickly filled her in on what had been going on since we last spoke and about my intention to continue living my life as I have been. I told her I have no plans to transition and will deal with my gender dysphoria as I have been for the last few years. She nevertheless asked me if I would be willing to come to a group session to speak about how I am managing. Not all of her patients plan to transition fully or at all so perhaps it could be interesting to discuss my own approach to all of this.

After our brief encounter I bid farewell to her and her daughter and left thinking that it was nice to have run into her.

Comments

  1. That does sound like really nice random moment!

    Would you consider taking her up on the offer to speak?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes I will seriously consider it Jen

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think it would be great of you to go speak to the group. You have a good balanced approach to this. I know I have appreciated being able to hear/read your thoughts on the matter! Go for it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Joanna -

    Speaking to the group would be a good thing for two key reasons - (1) Others could learn from your experiences, and (2) You might find something of value from having talked with the group.

    Let us know what you end up doing....

    M

    ReplyDelete

Post a comment

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…