Most of the time I am perfectly happy being a male and am not uncomfortable at all in my skin but my dysphoria sometimes conspires to make me think that this shouldn’t be the case. It tries to tell me that I would be happier as a full time woman.
I have now learnt to read how my dysphoria works and understand how it ebbs and flows and how to feed its appetite with the right amount of cross gender expression so that it allows me to live a normal life; at least as normal a life as a transgendered person can have. There is an anomaly that resides in our brains that makes us unique and I have learnt how to deal with it so that my quality of life is not hampered more than it needs to be.
I know we are all different and some of us want to do more but we can’t. There are those of us who deeply wish to transition and live full time but the majority of us never do; most gender dysphorics choose an in between status that runs the gamut between no physical alterations to everything but bottom surgery. There are no rules here but only what can settle you down to a state where you can be happy with yourself.
My ability to recognize what I needed to do was hampered by the dos and don’ts that I was adopting as insurmountable facts and which were causing me a great deal of stress. Its only when I removed those road blocks that I was able to address my needs. Unfortunately this can be the hardest part of the process because we have been so conditioned to see this so negatively.
By choosing to deal with this positively, it has saved my happiness.